Ethan Hawke as Bryson and Jack Black as his bumbling pal?

That's more ghoulish than dickish.

Oh, geez. This thing keeps smackin me in the kisser. Somebody must be getting married or something. Aww C'mon!

Ugh. Why don't they take Gladiator as the template? I know it's fashionable to piss on Gladiator for being an awesome popcorn movie that didn't deserve to win best picture but at least it's a fun sword & sandals epic and not a cgi laden Zach Snyder movie.

He does have the air of a tasteful and refined gentleman. I'm guessing that in the inevitable Trump biopic he will played by Colin Firth or maybe Cary Grant's ghost.

In 1995 a new Wu-Tang album sure as hell could've.

And the house that was built with that sweet Jaws: The Revenge cash is apparently quite lovely.

I hate Illinois Nazis.

If you have to leave this earth at the hands of an angry mob death by cheesecurd is not a bad way to go. Depending, of course, on what they meant by "cheese hole".

Driveshaft weren't about music, DeignsToRespond, they were about rebellion, about social and political upheaval!

Oh, he's just joking. You're just joking, right @flagonthemoon:disqus?!?!?

…chaaampagne.

It's a rare and lovely thing if someone gets it when, after they deliver a long and circuitous information dump, I incredulously ask "the baby looked at you?"

So, he's not singing about carrying a lazer moon? I suddenly find that song a lot less interesting.

Hopefully this sparks a trend of eerie tales of the supernatural set in the western suburbs; The Diabolist of Darien, the Nightstalker of Napeville, the Ossuary of Oak Brook, the Wendigo of Wheaton…

Pretty sure you're wrong on that one. Heebphile describes my crush on Sarah Silverman and Jenny Slate.

Why would you release a spooky atmospheric autumnal thriller around Halloween time when you can bury it in March when no one gives a shit? That's just good business sense.

"Everybody knows that Pol Pot died under mysterious circumstances while in house arrest in 1998 but what this movie presupposes is…he didn't?"

I agree completely. This is somehow worse than when I found out about the deaths of Robin Williams and Philip Seymour Hoffman on this site. This is more depressing than any newswire I've seen about Bill Cosby on this site.

He's Lobsters you newbie (by which I mean you may have only been lurking here for three or four years)!