Why was friend of the AV Club Chuck Klosterman not invited to write a 3000 word essay on this topic?

Why was friend of the AV Club Chuck Klosterman not invited to write a 3000 word essay on this topic?

Adam Sandler has yet to warn us on the dangers of vaccination.

Adam Sandler has yet to warn us on the dangers of vaccination.

Centipede HD is only worth your time if you have the trackball peripheral.

Centipede HD is only worth your time if you have the trackball peripheral.

@avclub-5a1c0dcc8243c086c74ee944052f6f0f:disqus I read the Hitchens book (God is Not Great) and found him guilty of reducing religion to an endless parade of crusades and pogroms.  He had absolutely no interest in engaging religion as a complicated facet of every human culture. One capable of bringing out both the…

@avclub-5a1c0dcc8243c086c74ee944052f6f0f:disqus I read the Hitchens book (God is Not Great) and found him guilty of reducing religion to an endless parade of crusades and pogroms.  He had absolutely no interest in engaging religion as a complicated facet of every human culture. One capable of bringing out both the…

Let me tell you about another "undeserving lottery winner", a fellow whose second rate literary fiction only garners notice because he had a famous father whose name rhymes with "mingsley".

Let me tell you about another "undeserving lottery winner", a fellow whose second rate literary fiction only garners notice because he had a famous father whose name rhymes with "mingsley".

Well, sure, @avclub-ea098057cb0d1379deaf8c1cf4a1fe3b:disqus once you've been exposed to the wonders of Evangelion all else in the world of human artistic endeavor pales in comparison. 

Well, sure, @avclub-ea098057cb0d1379deaf8c1cf4a1fe3b:disqus once you've been exposed to the wonders of Evangelion all else in the world of human artistic endeavor pales in comparison. 

That sounds like something Hemingway would say.  Are you Hemingway's ghost?

That sounds like something Hemingway would say.  Are you Hemingway's ghost?

Prequel.  Tells the story of how Reggie became an ice cream man in the first place.

Prequel.  Tells the story of how Reggie became an ice cream man in the first place.

Not much of a catchphrase but the delivery and his creepy face make up for it.

Not much of a catchphrase but the delivery and his creepy face make up for it.

More like a pumpkin than a lemon I think.

More like a pumpkin than a lemon I think.