Criminal Minded You've Been Blinded
Caught an episode of the original a few years back and it was easily one of the worst crime shows I'd seen in a long time. Corny plot, velveeta dialogue, that cheap CBS visual style that makes an outdoor location shoot look like a garishly overlit soundstage, and even a pretentious…

This Is Why They Hate Our Freedom
Is it me or does the actor playing the Flash in that Ruth Buzzi screenshot look like he's thinking about the strange and terrible places that his failed acting dreams have taken him?

Walk Don't Run
I read A Hall Of Mirrors many years ago but remember it was a compelling story with a literary heart covered in tasty pulp. Then a few months ago I randomly channel-surfed into the middle of this deadly dull flick. Although there is some interesting atmosphere, there's absolutely no energy to it. …

Can't forget those dour, humorless red state parents who had never heard the Who's On First routine and their smug little brat's emmy grab sob monologue where he gives it to them on tape and says "and you're going to laugh…(dramatic pause)…and laugh." Because in Sorkinland conservative farm people never laugh…or pay…

HORNSBY, dammit, HORNSBY. Just thinkin about those supermarket jams makes me drop my r's and move my hips…guess that's just the way it is.

Honsby Mandolin Jam Down
Dancing Is Forbidden-Master Shake.

FOR ninety minutes….instant karma for my casual cruelty I guess. Still, this film looks terrible. Was there even a script for Sandler's early scenes in Funny People, or did Apatow just park a camera in opera man's mansion and leave the light on?

Better Than Big Mommas?
This looks like the cinematic equivalent of staring at that D'arcy chick's cracked-out mug shot of ninety minutes.

The Saddest Mall Vs. The Worst Robot
The original had an evil robot that looked like a couple of cardboard boxes covered in tin foil with a few christmas lights on top. It dealt death via dry ice, because lasers are only for movies that aren't shot almost entirely in a dank, depressing 70's shopping mall.

Quantum Dafoe
Oh yeah, shouldn't FX greenlight a series with Willem Dafoe shifting between all of his various parallel universe selves in order to solve crimes and have wacky adventures? He could fight a shadowy cabal of evil Anti-Dafoes wherever they may lurk: the circus, chess matches, fashion shows, punk rock…

Best Bad Ass On TV
The tense face-offs with Dickie n' Cooper and then the molester were excellent: Givens is so cool, smooth, and clever that he doesn't even have to shoot somebody to prove he's the biggest bad ass on tv. Plus the dude loves the ladies, respects his elders, and hates paperwork. Welcome back.

Terrierphiles Please Relax
I feel your pain, Terrier fans…but y'all have got to heal at some point. Terriers was a solid show that really knew how to mix up its shambling, laidback charm with sharp shots of serious emotion, but the ratings didn't pan out and the network moved on. At least FX gave the series a season…

The cycle is complete.
Was it the undead plastic surgery face that recalled a Westworld android when he talked? The blank, lifeless eyes? The unearned d-lister big ego vibe? The tiresome school of Trump self-branding? His blood vendetta against jugglers?

A quality episode.
Easily the best episode of the season. The final scene with the army of creepy snowmen was excellent. Dwight in supervillain mode on the rooftop, framed by sinister steam, was spot on. The amused reactions of the office to Jim's ceaseless torment indicates that avclubbers aren't the only ones…