I have 95 reasons for not watching this and will nail them to the door of Fox HQ.

It's no Hot L Baltimore.

Break it down

Outtasight!

Me either for the most part. And as a straight kid, back when "straight" meant "good kid/rule follower", I sided with the administration against the disruptive, criminals-in-the-making Sweathogs. But there were only 3 channels back then, plus PBS and the local UHF outfit showing old movies, so I watched it. Plus Mrs.…

Liars! They merged into New York on January 1, 1898 and are not a city. That always pissed me off.

"…high school sophomores…in which the boys go to a strip club in Manhattan…shocked to find Hotsy dancing there"

Happy Days is generally thought to have jumped the shark when Fonzie, well, jumped the shark in season 5. But it really started to go south in season 4 with the whole Piky Tuscadero/demolition derby/Count Mallachi nonsense.

Revoke Dr. Seuss' medical license.

A few years under the Italians sure doesn't help in that department.

It looks like you really pissed her off.

We put up a bat house eight years ago and nary a bat has moved in.

"basically the real-life Mike Tyson if he for some reason decided to solve mysteries and help people", instead of commit assault upon them after fender-benders, or rape them.

Somebody misplaced the motor. So when you wrestle the octopus, shake the
legs a bit, to make it look like it's killing you.

Unless you're over 30, in which case you should be killed. Uh, I mean, undergo Carousel.

The ending would have made sense in a purely fictional story. But I can't get past the fact that Nucky Johnson lived until 1968, wearing his carnation til his dying day.

Yes. Samantha's father Dr. Zaius was a warlock.

I was sure this sentence
'his “future” put into the deep freeze, while he says Brooks and his cronies were'

Where was Cap'n Crunch?

It sounds city. Very, very city.