Those people should've kept their TV's around for After Mannix.

Happiness Is a Warm Gun That Kills Humans With Lasers.

Gurls.

Except I already beat you to it in a short story! I have witnesses!

Wait, he's suing his "friends" for using his work to make money while cutting him out of the backend?

"And the Hater ran every day."

You mean Sean O'Neal, right?

Am I getting less cynical or is the Tolerability Index getting more caustic?

I think it's time to stop pointing out O'Neal's grammatical errors. He gives us so much and asks for so little in return. Truly he is the Dawes of pop culture journalism.

When you get into your gimmick, IMC, you're one of my favorites.

Aye.

Look, I don't know if you're familiar with ThinkGeek, buddy, but a Taun-taun space heater is exactly the sort of product they stock. You'll need to go slightly more implausible for your jokes.

It's comments like this that make me miss "We Read What You Wrote There."

Check again; I just got an order in 5 minutes ago.

I thought it was an incredibly dull movie, but you're right: Reilly was the reason I wanted to keep watching.

Sooner or later you're going to have to start traveling further than you can spit.

But "skiff" is appropriate, right?

Oh that's what the 'D' stands for.

What's this about pie?

Lying to yourself counts.