Charles Bronson's dead? But did he ever get revenge on Freak #1?

Whither Stan Bush?
Seriously, where the fuck is that guy?

Breaking into Charles Bronson's apartment.

Does "glamour-puss"
mean that you have diamonds on your cunt?

And to think,
the show was only two days away from retirement.

Road House.

Basho can't eat well.
Down in the pit of his stomach
Cancer is brewing.

Sellin' bonds and dickin' blondes
is my new catchphrase. It replaces my old one, "Please sleep with me. I'm so lonely."

Jason Reitman doesn't like foreign accents? That's funny — because I don't like his movies.

John Hughes
will never top Maid in Manhattan. My cleaning lady said it's a fucking classic. At least I think that's what she said. She speaks Spanish, so I usually have no idea what the fuck she's talking about.

Starring
Brian Dennehy as Teapot Rock.

Can't we just give
the 11:30 to Charlie Rose? That kid's got spunk, I tell ya!

Season 1 of The Philanthropist
is what killed Ted Kennedy. Look it up.

GTA jokes were funnier when Dave Chappelle did them seven fucking years ago.

Is it just me
or is Cleveland Jr. not a very good baseball player?

Stand still, there's a spark in your hair!

Hey, there's nothing wrong with being creepy — except for the fact that you're fucking creepy.

In 2010 I hope to be more like Jack Klugman.

Twilight Zone marathon on SyFy
Art Carney as a blind drunk Santa Claus who smells like cat piss. Great episode or greatest episode?

I find
it weird no one's told that guy he's been dead for thirteen years.