Edgy

I bought a DVD player for this movie.

And the perfection…

Sink, you fool!

Wait, really?

This is a fine nexus point between the AV Club, The Onion, and Literally Unbelievable.

Mr. Sandman is a rapist?

I love this movie and would love to see it redone with the Mark Ruffalo Hulk. That's the only change I would make.

You say that like you care about not being cool.

She knew him before he was cool.

ESPN already got him.

I did, right after Fran Tarkenton followed me on Twitter. Clearly they've been scouting me.

I didn't read the article, is it me? I hope the speculation is about me.

YAAAAAY, someone took me seriously!

Which one is the soft-core flick with Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Akroyd?

On road trips with an Ex the Great who was significantly younger than I at the time, if I noticed a car was behind us for a long stretch, I would always joke that we were being followed by Quilty.

Ahhh, crap I left that out of my list, but that's one of my favorites. And more apt to today's society than fucking 1984.

In no particular order:

My god was born in Kenya.

Where can I send you the bill for my new iPad? The old one just had coffee spewed all over it.