If a Trump-induced nuclear holocaust does end up being the way the world ends, there will be a couple silver linings: 1. we will have lived to see the pinnacle of technological achievement, and 2. it is an admittedly funny way for the apocalypse to occur.

You would be surprised (and depressed) by how many people legitimately can't recognize racism unless they hear someone saying the N-word or see them wearing a white hood. My mother, for example, told me that she had seen a black woman on television talking about how Trump hires and promotes people based on their…

I think he's probably, in his heart of hearts, a garden variety bigot, who would yuk it up with his golfing buddies over shitty ethnic jokes and hold generally reactionary views about current events, but he recognizes his appeal to hardcore racists and has no moral qualms about exploiting it, whether it's calling for…

There was actually a Slate article recently by a doctor who has the unenviable task of explaining to amnesia patients that, yes, Donald Trump is actually our president.

The dude that runs that shitty website has the president's ear now! And the president is DONALD TRUMP! [terrifying dispatch from the future]

Saw this in Chicago a few months ago, I'd definitely recommend it to a fellow superfan, it's a pretty great survey of his songbook. Not as much fun spontaneity as the spinning songbook tour, but he plays a lot of the good stuff (and not just Imperial Bedroom), including more obscure songs I love like "You'll Never Be…

It's not the entire album, probably more like 7 of the 25+ songs. I saw this show during the first half of the tour, and he definitely "plays the hits" (to the extent that he has hits). I know there were a couple "Blood and Chocolate" songs (though much to my disappointment, no "I Want You"). And have no fear, he'll…

Are you accusing Academy Award-winning actress Emma Stone of being unable to convincingly portray surprise?

"When it comes to great steaks, I've just raised the stakes! …And believe me, I understand steaks, it's my favorite food" - the President of the United States

Hank is basically my father, so I imagine he would have done the same thing my dad did: support Ted Cruz while expressing contempt for Trump during the primaries, then seem depressed by the prospect of having to choose between him and Clinton after the conventions, but eventually acquiesce and vote for Trump, despite…

I wonder how conflicted Hank would have been by the Trump-Clinton choice? The steak thing alone seems even more disqualifying than Dubya's weak handshake.

There was a NYTimes profile during the election in which his racist butler revealed that Trump likes his steak so well-done that it "rocks on the plate," but the ketchup thing is a fresh revelation for me. Just when I think I know everything disgusting about our president, I am proven wrong.

There was a great Onion headline four or five shootings back that was something like, "'No Way to Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Happens Regularly."

It's like a reverse Bradley effect: you tell pollsters you WON'T vote for the Orange-American candidate, but then you do.

Trump is proof that the "turn out the base" strategy really works. Obama excited his base (minorities, young people) in a way that his opponents McCain and Romney both failed to excite theirs (angry white dudes). Exciting the base is all that matters anymore, as long as the rest of the party grudgingly falls in line…

One of the most frustrating parts of the Trump saga was seeing just how much cognitive dissonance is at work in the reactionary mind. A man who embodied everything Fox News viewers claimed to find distasteful in Obama—narcissism, big-city elitism, secularism, unpresidential behavior—became their champion. And if the…

After Trump's election, the one tiny sliver of optimism I had was the thought that, "Welp, I guess this makes the idea of an eventual Jon Stewart administration actually plausible."

"That would be Skyline Chili, which I refuse to call “Cincinnati style,” because that would be acknowledging the existence of rival chain Gold Star Chili, and that is unacceptable in my household."

This is the Monk thinkpiece I've been waiting for all of my life. Thank you very much.

I love the repetition of "…If you paid attention you'd be worried too/ Better pay attention…"