The short story is where it's at for horror fiction. In a short story, you can whip the reader's head around and make them go "what the fuck?" and they'll love you for it. Do that with a novel and they'll feel cheated. Imagine a Twilight Zone payoff after you've invested a full two hours and three acts of a movie…

For a long time, I truly thought I was the only one who realized how entirely fucking garbage System of a Down is.

Probot
Shake Your Blood is the best Motorhead song never written. Thoughts?

Wait, wait, wait. Were Slayer supposed to be eeeevil and provocative?

You know, just because you're wearing pumps does not mean you're gay. Sheesh.

Captain Boingo Helicopter is the new name of my band.

Is that not true of everyone who tries to be funny? I mean, Mitch Hedberg was funny, but if he was on all the time (you know, like when we were in college), it would get old damned fast.

Nah, I was really just taking a super easy shot at Horse Enthusiast's poor spelling.

Cuz Amercia is the graetest cuontry on aerth.

If Autechre were disappearing up their own asses on Untilted, then I am more than happy to be up there with them. That album absolutely kills.

That's just it, I don't think everyone knows that. The vast majority of the people I meet are the Fox Mulders, and hardly anyone are the Dana Scullys.

Scooby Doo, where are you?
I don't need it to go away completely, but I could really do with seeing fewer smart, rational people find out that "there really is magic in the world." Or ghosts or boogeymen or fairies or god or any of that shit. Does every story other than Scooby Doo have to have a scientist get his…

Mrs. Joel just pointed out that Family Guy is pretty much Jay Leno's monologue in cartoon form. Dull, lazy, offensively artless.

Fuck your narrative arc. Family Guy isn't funny. Maybe if it had a narrative arc it could get away with that. As it is, it's just a bunch of random shit, cheap shots and low-hanging fruit, taking the easiest possible route to every punchline. Sucks.

Wall Street Episode 5
So, does Wall Street 2 end with Shia LeBeouf flexing his new cyborg hand and looking all plaintive, and then joining other members of the cast to gaze out of the window into all that dark and cold, knowing that Michael Douglas is out there, somewhere, waiting for redemption or destruction?

Actually, no. The new name of my band is Credulous Sheldrake and the Really Real Science I Swear You Guys.

Also, Benevovengeful Sky Faeries is the new name of my band.

Herpes, I don't wanna just pile on you and call you foolish, because your optimism is obviously good-natured.

Try the Veal, I'll believe whatever you want, as long as there's a paycheck in it.

That's a really good point, Leonard. They really are like apples and… well, a slightly different kind of apple, and the difference does come down to the audience. After further thought, I suppose Kreskin does a lot of good for the cause of rationality, by simply presenting his brand of entertainment as grounded in…