So, how does this side of you feel about the prospect of a topless Molly Shannon?

If this show featured Vince Neil and Sean Young battling with skate blades it'd probably be more successful.

I was considering some half-cute joke about her appearing on the first episode with a homemade Skating with the Stars trophy and then I was completely unmanned by that anecdote about the consistency of her shit.

So, if the purpose of a Satanic Death Cult is presumably to sacrifice evil-doers who will then be sent to Hell, in order to win the favor of Lucifer, is he hoping that those cultists will get lazy and look upstairs and/or across the street for right-wing media flacks who qualify? Oh my God, John Cusack is encouraging…

Isn't it funny how being raised as a strict Catholic has given me all these weird sexual hang-ups?
No, it isn't, and if it ever was it was many years and several hundred movies/songs/comic books/novels/paintings/blogs ago. Roman Catholic creative types, you now have our permission to stop.

So, in this scenario, the voters are Gabe, Stallone is Michael Rooker, Michael Rooker's girlfriend is .. what is she, the Constitution? Traditional American values? And the AV Club commenters are Frank, smiling like a maniac at it all.

By capitalizing "Oblivion" it looks like he wanted it to make reference to Obama without having to reword it into something tacky like "Ob-ama-livion." I don't know whether to respect that kind of half-hearted restraint or think worse of him for it.

It's common to use the diminutive or a nickname to belittle a political opponent (Dubya, Slick Willie, Ronnie, Tricky Dick). Doesn't make it any less lazy as a gibe.

My favorite part of Twitter is how it works to disabuse everyone of the notion that anyone who's a celebrity has something better to do with his or her time than the rest of us or is any more informed or well-spoken. Subtly promoting some egalitarian ideal can't have been intended and yet there it is.

I need some kind of conversion ratio on this
How unacceptably intolerant is it to believe that while same-sex attraction doesn't have anything to do with mental health, that level of body modification could represent a sort of self-hatred which may have something to do with it? I'm as ignorant as they come about the…

I defy the Internet to come up with a satirical version of Dealbreakers that's worse than those first couple of posts
"When I first met you, I was utterly enthralled. Here was a guy who loved reading as much as me, thought football was as stupid as I did, and even admitted to writing poetry. It was as if my every…

If it hasn't been done already I endorse someone taking up the username "Bono's fuckin cuntish mug." I'm somewhat tolerant when it comes to rock star affectation but how I want to yank that camera out of his hands, slap those shades off, sit him down in a chair and tell him if he purses his god damned lips one more…

When did morning shows go from being the fluffy TV equivalent of People or Parade to actively encouraging people to rubberneck at "the celebrity freak show" like this? I come from a simpler time known as the late '80s when you had to at least be in between rehab stints to be featured in this kind of interview. Putting…

Dennis Quaid's choices have been consistent since the '80s. When is this decline supposed to have started? Also, while not having seen it, that's a brazen judgment for the wife of the man whose last screen credit is Balls Out: Gary the Tennis Coach, a direct-to-DVD Seann William Scott title, to make.

Was I the only one who thought Mel Gibson was going to take the American flag he was carrying around at the climax and impale Jason Isaacs with it? That would've been retardedly awesome.