If I hear another Trautwig inquiry if whether a certain Russian gymnast is a "diva" or not, I will stab a fuckin hairpin into his fuckin' throat.

If I hear another Trautwig inquiry if whether a certain Russian gymnast is a "diva" or not, I will stab a fuckin hairpin into his fuckin' throat.

ASTUTE OBSERVATION OF THE NIGHT:

ASTUTE OBSERVATION OF THE NIGHT:

ASTUTE OBSERVATION OF THE NIGHT:

WRONG!! They were sobbing because they wanted that gold. Russia don't cry for silver, you kidding me? What are you— stupid or sumptin'?

WRONG!! They were sobbing because they wanted that gold. Russia don't cry for silver, you kidding me? What are you— stupid or sumptin'?

WRONG!! They were sobbing because they wanted that gold. Russia don't cry for silver, you kidding me? What are you— stupid or sumptin'?

To be fair, that Maroney vault was pretty fuckin' fantastic.

To be fair, that Maroney vault was pretty fuckin' fantastic.

Wow, if you thought NBC couldn't go any lower— Trying to drum up a bribing
scandal, really? with the Japanese gymnastics team. And no substantial coverage at all of even the winning team. And all this just because Team USA sucks ass? Good going, NBC.

Wow, if you thought NBC couldn't go any lower— Trying to drum up a bribing
scandal, really? with the Japanese gymnastics team. And no substantial coverage at all of even the winning team. And all this just because Team USA sucks ass? Good going, NBC.

I heard you the first time!! And no, I don't love it.

I heard you the first time!! And no, I don't love it.

I FUCKIN' hate young chicks who have chins. And that's real talk for ya.

NOTE TO SELF: You stupid motherfucker, why wasn't "Yes, my life sucks!" included in the parenthetical statement as well?? You stupid English degree-toting motherfucker just so you can get some pussy on a Monday night at your local secondhand book shop motherfucker. Fuckin' ass!

Man, I just can't find a good enough word to replace "motherfucker", can I? My fuckin' bachelor degree in English sucks a motherfucker.

Lobsters1, weren't you the same motherfucker who told me to invest in all those Rob Pollard's sideprojects, motherfucker?!?…Now I'm broke again, you asshole. Fuck— who the fuck am I kiddin'— I hate ELO too, Fuckee Aimee Mann told me to get into them, and what the fuck has she done for me lately?!? Can't even jerk off…

Fuck Scorsese, man. Fuck that motherfucker. Stopping panning the camera, you asshole. Fuckin Oh-fools. HEED, motherfucker: Move your camera ONLY when you're dancin', motherfucker. You're no Oh-fools, motherfucker— so stop trying to be that motherfucker, or THAT motherfucker. I'm tired of your inane stupid half-ass…

"vaguely offensive"….Ha, you're such a fuckin' pussy….God, you people are startin' to make me hate the modifiers "vague" and "vaguely".