Granted, I'm happy to be Star-Burns but what did Scrawler do?

And the caption should be, "Kickboxer gives his date a demonstration of what you can do without even leaving the dance floor while wearing adult diapers."

I disagree with your disagreement.

Disney called. Jack Black has already signed on for that part. Sorry.

We live in a world where Robert Freakin' Redford has a part in the Captain America ……. sequel!

::Darth Vader's pick-up TIE fighter fails to make it over the gorge and crashes harmlessly into a convenient hay stack.::

"Nah, I'm not going to lie. JoeBloggs is telling the truth … and I'm loving it!"

My issue with this movie is its star. A recent example of this genre was Superbad. Could I believe that Michael Cera, Jonah Hill and Christopher Mintz-Plasse were three guys desperately trying to get laid before the end of high school? I wouldn't believe them as anything else.
Can I believe that Aubrey Plaza got…

I don't think you understand this expression.
The drapes=the hair on a person's head. Often dyed, often to blond hair.
The carpet=pubic hair.

How dare the movie industry make movies want to and are willing to pay to see!
Why don't they cater more to snarky film snobs who hate everything?

Very existential. I don't have your imagination so I'm ashamed to admit that all of my favorite movies are.

Yes. Yes, I would.

"Too busy polishing mah spurs:"

You folks should see how often parents bring their kids to criminal court. Not good with babies but when the kids are 5 or 6 and actually have some idea what's going on…?
"Okay, honey, hurry up and brush your teeth. We're going to go watch daddy get sent to jail!"

@avclub-011d0b4fe6835bb3d37ef4e0ea713de6:disqus By your anecdote, I was way too young to see Prometheus.

Your mother and I agree that the worst part was when you …. < ahem > … "finished."

And your argument is that Jean-Claude Van Damme got to display his talents in Timecop and not his good looks….?

………… nooooooooope ………

I heard it was, "Cheerio, guv, after I watch some footie on the telly in my flat, I'm orf to ave a slash, pip, pip."

It's Harrison Ford Syndrome.