He performs over 50 Megachecks per second!

My reindeer costume features a black nose, not a red one.

He could be hit by a blue jay for all I care. Simply the idea of Adam Levine being hit in the face makes me that much happier.

Personally, I'm looking forward to the Bonnie Prince Billy/Anthrax collaboration.

I found the fact that they completely skinned it first to be especially disturbing. Looking at a furry animal is one thing, but looking at a sack of muscles, bones, and connective tissue with a person's head sticking out is pretty wierd

I feel like this phrase is applicable in many situations. It could be used, for example, if there is a leak in Hoover Dam.

I remember that game, you had to have a gameshark to unlock Tom Cruise, though….

You, sir, have found a very special little corner of the internet.

I started to hate that song when it became the top result when I typed in "Tonight, Tonight" into YouTube.

I actually really like TKOL and love all their records (except Pablo Honey, but that one's really quite different). I was grinning from ear to ear during the whole show, as was Colbert

If you aint first, your last. In the modern media landscape, it's all about who can shout the loudest and fill the airwaves with their version of the news. Fact is, MSNBC was not shouting the loudest.

I guess, considering what happened at MSNBC, this wouldn't be the first time that Keith Olbermann has failed to carry a network to the promised land.

"I want you to picture two men having sex-"

I thought Steve Martin was great. He makes coming up with funny jokes look so effortless.

I don't know why, but TV and film studios seem to be convinced that really, really attractive but totally awkward girls are coming out of the hills like ants swarming to a twinkie that's been sitting on the sidewalk for an afternoon.

This seemed to be a trend in the early 90's. Also see: "Siamese Dream" by Smashing Pumpkins and "Pablo Honey" by Radiohead

Hey, why not get knocked up in a night club instead of at home? That's a step in the right direction, right?

I thought everybody won because Amber Heard gets to wear next to nothing and stab people in the temples.

Exactly, they are setting up a subsidiary that they know is doomed to fail. When Qwikster fails, they can justify the discontinuation of the disc-through-mail service. Imagine how shitty it must be to work at the new Qwikster company, though, knowing all the while that there's a ticking clock on your source of…

Exactly, they are setting up a subsidiary that they know is doomed to fail. When Qwikster fails, they can justify the discontinuation of the disc-through-mail service. Imagine how shitty it must be to work at the new Qwikster company, though, knowing all the while that there's a ticking clock on your source of…