That's crazy talk - H: 5-0 (as the new version will likely be called) had one of the best cop/detective show themes. In order of awesomeness:

who the hell wants to be an editor?

I can't rope together a bunch of cocoanuts without getting slapped by Margaret Dumont.

An interesting idea
Sounds like it needed a better author. Jan Bondeson would be ideal.

You can't have an affair without showing some initiative. And I don't know about you, but I can't have an affair without ending up spending time on Devils Island.

J'accuse!

Wrong Trousers for the win - suspense, action, pathos.

The posts should end on a cliffhanger - "As always, we remain…wait! What's this written on the back of the press release? It's in some sort of code!"

I once went to a clown show after which all the clowns went out drinking at a Soviet themed industrial bar. There's something surreal about standing at a bar where Front 242 is blasting, the beer taps have statues of Gen. Zhukov on them, video monitors are showing scenes from Kaiju movies, and the you're talking to a…

In eastern Canada, the LC is the government-run liquor store.

The boy sat in the burning dreck
whence all but he had fled.
The film that lit the theatre's wreck
shone round him o'er the dead.

Nerds all getting their dander up.

Einsturzende Neubauten and Miley Cirus are doing an album of madrigals.

I haven't seen any either. See? Living under a rock has its upside.

Maybe it wasn't a paraplegic in that tree, maybe he's not remembering it properly. Maybe she wasn't moving for another reason - maybe he fucked a girl who hanged herself.

I stopped watching after he got the memo saying he wasn't allowed to call people "muppet"

What, haven't you played "the paraplegic stuck in a tree and the sexy fire fighter?"

I call it "emptying the spit valve"

Wonderful soundtrack. Guess I'll have to buy a PS3.

I just assumed the objectives were hard because I suck at video games.