Combined with accidentally, brutally stabbing himself in the stomach while shaving, that makes for a rough day.

I'm a firm supporter of the Standing at the Back Dressed Stupidly and Looking Stupid party.

I'm a firm supporter of the Standing at the Back Dressed Stupidly and Looking Stupid party.

Not that important, but I love the senator's voice who asks "All in favor of the amended Springfield-slash-pervert bill?"

Not that important, but I love the senator's voice who asks "All in favor of the amended Springfield-slash-pervert bill?"

Oh my GOD!  THE PTA IS DISBANDING!  *Jumps out window*

Oh my GOD!  THE PTA IS DISBANDING!  *Jumps out window*

Like a sucker!

Like a sucker!

"Ladies, make no mistake, I will lay the fucking pipe into you."

"Ladies, make no mistake, I will lay the fucking pipe into you."

I really wish that Internet Eating Sensation David Chang had a cookbook.

I really wish that Internet Eating Sensation David Chang had a cookbook.

That table was a hell of a deal considering it's the one that goes for over 6 grand on Nick Offerman's woodworking website.

That table was a hell of a deal considering it's the one that goes for over 6 grand on Nick Offerman's woodworking website.

Two things:

Two things:

There was.  When I called you.  FORTY FIVE MINUTES AGO.

There was.  When I called you.  FORTY FIVE MINUTES AGO.

I can't see a movie with JGL in it without immediately thinking of "Who in Jehovah's name poked my soufflé?!?"