Matthew McConaughey will never get an Oscar because he keeps going full-retard in all his roles.

What's a "district thread of optimism"?  Oh, wait, I forgot this is the AV Club.  So a complete lack of competent editing and/or proofreading. 

What's a "district thread of optimism"?  Oh, wait, I forgot this is the AV Club.  So a complete lack of competent editing and/or proofreading. 

Like many of you, I was glad to see Iron Giant on this list (and now I don't have to add it to my list of omissions). Some of the films in this entry are as good as or superior to some of the original entries, so why not have just made the original article "The greatest films of the 90's"?  Are there only allowed to…

Like many of you, I was glad to see Iron Giant on this list (and now I don't have to add it to my list of omissions). Some of the films in this entry are as good as or superior to some of the original entries, so why not have just made the original article "The greatest films of the 90's"?  Are there only allowed to…

I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes, I do have a nickname for my penis. It’s called The Octagon, But I’ve also nicknamed my testes.The left one is James Westfall, and the right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you might just get to meet the whole gang.

I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes, I do have a nickname for my penis. It’s called The Octagon, But I’ve also nicknamed my testes.The left one is James Westfall, and the right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you might just get to meet the whole gang.

The common shortening is "perk" to describe a fringe benefit or special privilege as result of one's position.  The spoken term is actually short for "perquisite" so I tend to shorthand it as "perq".

The common shortening is "perk" to describe a fringe benefit or special privilege as result of one's position.  The spoken term is actually short for "perquisite" so I tend to shorthand it as "perq".

I was so enraged after reading the third paragraph that I had to skip the rest of the article and start ranting in the comments.

I was so enraged after reading the third paragraph that I had to skip the rest of the article and start ranting in the comments.

I had to explain to my wife why I started laughing when Seth Meyers said he was an architect:

I had to explain to my wife why I started laughing when Seth Meyers said he was an architect:

The Impregnables?

The Impregnables?

I really appreciate the way you were able to type out exactly what you were saying as you were being dragged away from your computer (with no spelling errors). 

I really appreciate the way you were able to type out exactly what you were saying as you were being dragged away from your computer (with no spelling errors). 

You misspelled "religious people are stupid"

You misspelled "religious people are stupid"

That doesn't even apply to right triangles as it is not an accurate formulation of Pythagoras's Theorem.  I reckon it should be "square" not "square root".