"impending intestinal requirement" means fart to you?

You should change your handle from "The UMD" to "The UMD / Seinfeld Fact Checker"

Will said skills pay the bills?

Agreed.  If I had a couple extra lifetimes, I'd love to give Judo a spin.

Judge:  "You shouldn't'a done that!  Now get outta here!"

You have been on fire today.

He's better than Kenny Florian.

Like most sports, MMA is more interesting if you have done it personally.

Tell me more about this automatic gyro machine

^^ This x 1000

Kudos for just writing exactly what you were thinking at the time

"Butt pirate" is still a pretty amusing phrase

nicely done

Sondra, your dog munched the carpet again!
*Audience laughs, vomits, laughs, does Arsenio Hall hand motions*

The arch support has been described as "fuckin' dope"

"Motorists today are too fucking fat to lift off the ground." - Scientist

These people don't understand that freedom ain't free, @avclub-4b85256c4881edb6c0776df5d81f6236:disqus

^^^ Classic hatin'!

Poodles don't groom themselves bro

Sometimes I wish my mustache was maybe not so wide