I guess you've never seen Bill O'Reilly's impression of the little kid in "Jerry McGuire". FUNNY!

I guess you've never seen Bill O'Reilly's impression of the little kid in "Jerry McGuire". FUNNY!

How did you know I found out I have Cancer today? Are you my Doctor?

How did you know I found out I have Cancer today? Are you my Doctor?

People who fuck poodles are offended by poodlefucker jokes.

People who fuck poodles are offended by poodlefucker jokes.

Too bad he doesn't have to.

Too bad he doesn't have to.

"cute" is right. Let me make a little Chinese man out of this tube sock so I can do my racist ventriloquist act for you weinies . . . But FIRST, here's a little number from off of the third Kiss album . . . A little tune we call . . . "ROOM SERVICE"!!!

"cute" is right. Let me make a little Chinese man out of this tube sock so I can do my racist ventriloquist act for you weinies . . . But FIRST, here's a little number from off of the third Kiss album . . . A little tune we call . . . "ROOM SERVICE"!!!

Comedy Central, moron. You don't need him, I'm here to tell the jokes.

Comedy Central, moron. You don't need him, I'm here to tell the jokes.

The dude who does Foghat covers at the bar down the street. He's awesome!

The dude who does Foghat covers at the bar down the street. He's awesome!

Don't worry, it's the guys who blabber about guys who own Hard Rock Cafe shirts who are the assholes. Wear whatever you want.

Don't worry, it's the guys who blabber about guys who own Hard Rock Cafe shirts who are the assholes. Wear whatever you want.

Ha ha!

Ha ha!

Wow. This is like trying to joke around with the kids outside a Justin Beiber show.

Wow. This is like trying to joke around with the kids outside a Justin Beiber show.