Some kids in my senior class had the dream of spending the summer before college making a Harry Potter porn parody. I was only a quarter of the way through writing it when we had to give up because "Harry Twatter and the Sorcerer's Bone" was already taken.

Its last episode had a lower demo rating than Parks and Rec, and only a marginally stronger one than Community, all the while losing two million viewers from its lead-in (The Office). So Whitney is about at XFL levels of raging success.

SPOILERS

Man, Vampire's Kiss was ridiculously wacky, with the noticeable exception of the rape scene. I got some of my friends to watch it after hearing about how crazy it was supposed to be, and the Nic Cage rapery was just a total buzzkill.

Adventureland was great. You walk alone Blumpkins, you walk alone!

Is it just me or did this episode have more monologuing than a super-villain convention? It felt like every character was communicating primarily through speeches; the dialogue was generally either an emotional proclamation or a summary of things that already happened.

I think the thing with Bayer - and this is true with Moynihan to a lesser degree - is that she's absolutely abysmal as the straight man. It's not that she's clearly just reading the cue cards, it's that she's reading them badly. It stilts her delivery into this weird Middle School play level of shittiness.

Obviously, they just stopped reading what we wrote there. Probably somewhere after the 1,000th Dawes comment.

Rookie of the Year, while a child-hood favorite of mine, features some of the worst on-screen fake pitching of all time - courtesy of Gary Busey. I tried to youtube it to show you all his ridiculous mechanics. But instead I found this little gem.
 http://www.youtube.com/watc…

Yeah, I definitely thought "who the fuck's going to sift through 500 some comments that probably have said everything there is to say and keep reading all the way until the last page?"

As of right now there are apparently 563 reasonable discussions going on. With this being the 564th. And even though no-one is probably going to end up reading this, I have to write this down.

I made that anecdote up, so the joke's on you!

Thanks Broseph A. Banks!

No Ruffalo, no deal.

I'm piling up as many episodes of Revenge in my DVR as possible. Just so that one day someone will stop over at my house and ask me why I haven't watched them yet, and I'll say "Because…REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED COLD!"

I don't like humble and reasonable Sean O'Neal. It's like watching Don Rickles tell his daughter a bed-time story.

True story. I went to see a play version of A Christmas Carol, and I couldn't stop hearing all of Mrs. Cratchet's lines in a Miss Piggy voice. Between that and the inspired choice of "Fozzywig", the muppet version will always define that story for me.

Woah, if we stop calling that a hook-up, I'm left with nothing. You're on the thinnest of ice @avclub-f42df120eeab346af8408eba95aed72b:disqus

Now I've got this big stupid smile on my face. It's taken me years to build up this "cynical asshole" reputation, and the Muppets just took it down in two minutes flat.

Honestly, I'd pay top dollar to see Charlie Day sexually harassed by Lucille Ball's corpse.