I wish Comedy Central would eliminate all it's other roasters and just have three hours of Noel insulting someone twice a year.

If you want to see an amazing Lifetime movie, I can't recommend "She's Too Young" enough. This super nice academic girl gets peer pressured into her friend into smoking a cigarette one day and then it basically smash cuts to her getting gangbanged by 12 black guys. It's the best.

I feel like Robert Durst should be the one taking a photo of himself wearing a hoodie that says "Not Fred"

Why does 50 Cent keep getting movie roles?

I appreciate a lot of the weird, manic stuff he does. And his obvious obsession with being liked at least makes him empathetic. But goddamn his face is soooooo punchable.

I could really see these stealing customers from Big Dog T-shirts, who pretty much have the morbidly obese market cornered right now.

If they wanted Killam's parents to be really cool, they should've cast Donny Most and Anson Williams as a gay couple.

I guess you think the same about Tim Allen, Drew Carey, Dave Coulier, or anyone else who isn't of this precise second?

This is not the Captain Oates spinoff news I was hoping for…

As long as Chris Brody is still in play, I'm good.

*Googles whether or not Danny Boyle directed Blank Check*

Hellllllooooo, Newman….ya bish.

As long as they still sell neon green t-shirts with impossibly long screamo band names like Job For A Cowboy On A Tuesday In Memphis or We Are Robots And Our Robots Have Robots written in hot pink, then I'll be okay.

****arena goes dark*****
****emerges from rafters*******

Will he look like a really muscular, veiny penis in this movie too?

But now what show will benefit from that cushy post Sullivan and Son timeslot?

Duchovny mistakenly thought he signed on for 6 episodes of The Sex Files.

Maybe we'll finally get an answer on when it is okay to touch a black man's radio.

He had a secret child that he had nothing to do with for like 15 years.

I have a strong feeling that someone else will repeat this joke l-a-t-e-r this week…