That, sir, is an insult to equines everywhere.

Kevin Hart: Funnier than a Tyler Perry movie, but that's not really saying much…like, at all.

I wouldn't be surprised if they called the next stupid film "Despicable Three."

Jesus tap-dancing, titty-fucking Christ, I can't tell you how sick I am of those goddamn little yellow pill-shaped Minions. Yes, they're an effective marketing tactic for braindead little shits, but do they literally have to be everywhere? The last time I saw a movie (Monsters University), there were kids screaming at…

As soon as I saw the trailer with Helena Bonham Carter speaking in an awful Western accent, I knew this movie was gonna be an unredeemable piece of horse shit.

Johnny Depp has turned into nothing more than an expensive gimmick actor. He cranks up the quirky weirdness in every one of his films and the audience is expected to laugh their asses off like a pack of wild hyenas. The man is completely overrated and overused at this point, but hey, as long as Gore and Tim…

Coincidentally, her boyfriend Future's name also begins with the letter of the grades his songs deserve.

I remember when people said Ciara was gonna be the next big thing in R&B music.

Wow, a C for a Wale album?

Might as well have called it "Rich White Douchebags: The Series."

A pretty solid episode overall, but not one of RS's best. The main villain was fairly forgettable and the climax felt a bit bland compared to past episodes. Still, there were some great lines from the main cast, so I can't complain too much. I give it a B.

I wonder what would happen if you put a toilet in that machine.

Oh no you fucking didn't! Marceline's musical numbers are some of the single best moments this show has had to offer. Olivia Olson's voice is gorgeous.

Only a show like Adventure Time would have the balls to tackle the "science vs. religion" debate with a deeply subtle yet absurdly surreal sophistication. This episode was fucking stellar.

At least Tank Top would've made a better ally than Wife Beater.

@MisterPemberton:disqus *cue bagpipe*

The pre-credits ending nearly made me shit myself, so…I'm gonna have to go with the latter.

Even if they were made of metal, they were Hank's breasts and his alone, and those literal knockers will be missed.

Hank did the right thing. The Nozzle had what was coming to it. It deserves no sympathy. Now, Hank's sexy body armor, that deserved its own funeral. It will be dearly missed. R.I.P.

The inner 8-year-old in me picks Shuttlecock.