That's true, prophecies suck ass too.  Not to be confused with The Prophecy, starring Christopher Walken. 

Oh my fucking god I HATE CHESS METAPHORS!

Wow, there's something you don't hear every day.

You say that about everything, Herps.

@avclub-eaff9f19dbfd5c5a5807b5dbfa656ec9:disqus

I disagree.

Slab Beefchunks.

Actually, I'm pretty sure it was their first kidnapping victim that was the Medicare fraudster millionaire.

Dude, it's important to pack on mass.

YES, everyone should read those articles, it's a fucking insane story.  I think what happened is the first victim had testified several times, but they tricked him into coming back for the final hearing or something to get "closure".  He almost didn't make the last trip.

yeah, I second the love for The Rundown, and I definitely don't think the Rock gave a shitty performance.

The Smell-Stale Fart ?

If the female orgasm is a myth, then I'm a motherfuckin' mythbuster.

Irrationally?  IRRATIONALLY?!?!  You're the one who hates feces, asshole.  I guess you don't fertalize your garden either.  Enjoy your subpar begonias, you slack-jawed jackanape.

It's a well known fact that "life lessons" don't apply to sluts or Welshmen.  So it doesn't matter what happened at your exes' weddings, the life lesson still applies to those of us who aren't sluts or Welsh.

That's because you are a slut, Snidely, and all your exes are sluts.

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH FECES, ASSHOLE?  WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE ALL THAT WASTE JUST SIT IN YOUR FUCKING BODY AND ROT YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT?!?!

i agree with Al Capwne, when I saw that first check for $802,033 i thought no way but my step sister in law made that much in 3 days just reading AVClub comments and disagreeing with hipsterdbag and now she has a boat A FUCKING BOAT.

I agree completely, when I first realized what was happening, my cynical side was all like, "Oh look, some old band playing their one hit," but they rocked the fuck out of that song.  And their tone was way better than I expected for a huge venue like that.

"IT'S THOSE DAMN DUDLEYS!"