Black is slenderizing. As much as MK may fancy himself some kind of, I don't know, yachtsman, he is in fact, stubby and thick. You will notice that a lot of these New York designery-types will simultaneously rail against the use of black, while shrouding themselves 24/7 in all-black uniforms. On them it's chic and…

The track 'Altitude Blues' is a game-changer.

We don't come in sets, unfortunately. We have to be meticulously tended to individually, like prize orchids.

Well, I didn't mean I was going to carry out Eve's plotline—-although if anyone deserves a shiv to the back it would be Josh (it's his smug sense of entitlement that gits me. He needs to be taken down a notch)—- I just meant I try to comport myself with that kind of Baxterian grace— charming, but it takes a bit of…

Interesting concept. We need more gays imitating Rosalind Russell in 'Auntie Mame' like in the good old days.

Since Josh was the meat on this episode's catering tray, I feel compelled to join in the hatin' on him.

Well, Josh C is gone for real this time. I kept wanting him to stay on long enough for the show to deconstruct his obvious homosexuality juxtaposed with his Mormonism, and his mewling proclamation on, what was it, ep 2? that he is guardedly positive about the prospect of "meeting a gurl and getting marrrrriedsssssss."…

Picking nits
I, too, am a can enthusiast. As such, I feel the need to assert my snooty knowledge of tedious minutiae.

My wants
I want to bone Jason Sudeikis so badly it's like a deep ache.

John Wayne Hotness
When I saw this episode I wanted to copulate with the tall Texan with the perfect ass so badly I could taste it in the back of my throat. Then I read he was a Mormon, and I was ready to be over him. Then I watched the clip of his audition and danged if I didn't still want to pork his brains out.

Mexican audiences will clap for anything.

Patti Stanger is a muppet dominatrix. Kind of like Janice's more high-strung cousin. The Serena to Janice's Tabitha.

Just watched it
That Bryce "person" was the most insufferable CUNT I have ever witnessed.

Good one.
"The dress was pretty," he said, "but the styling was a little…" and then he made a motion like an old-time Hollywood starlet trying to brush her hair back seductively after suffering a terrible stroke.

Lovers Live Memories
I saw Sade live in the early Aughties. The thing I remember most (other than it being the most expensive concert ticket I had ever purchased) was the audience being absolutely enthralled with her. The audience was a real cross section, from hipsters to real jazz/R&B fans to old couples. All Sade…

Jerry Supiran was Hotter
I think I understand—sort of—why this was released. It's more than grownup-teenager 80s irony. I remember watching this show in syndication. It was more than just bad, like Facts of Life bad. It was, quite simply, the Worst Television Show Ever. It was right up there with early long-form…

Dr. Douche
I remember plainly: When I was in college my roommate was this unwashed bohemian dreadlocked ninny with icy eyes that everyone, gay and straight, wanted to do right there on the couch. He was ostensibly straight, but he remarked more than once that Dr. Drew was the one man he would switch for. I wanted to…

Annie's voice
I think there is a fine tradition of personality-neutral pop voices (many critics refer to them as "icy") that actually benefit the songs in a way that a more expressive vocalist wouldn't. .Claudia Brucken and Sarah Cracknell both come to mind. Maybe Agnetha Faltskog as well, to an extent. Hell, even…

Me and mine
Did that poor little boy who got sent home never have a chance to watch the show before? PASTA SALAD=INSTANT ELIMINATION.

I would want to be put to sleep near Easter, because it's my favorite eating holiday. My menu would be: