If ever I direct a movie I too shall make my father yell "ass to ass."

I went to see Black Swan in the theater with my dad and stepmom, and missed the lesbian sex scene because I was in the bathroom. I thought the movie was fantastic and so the next week took my mom and GRANDPARENTS. I was horrified when Mila and Natalie started going at it. My mom turned to me and whispered angrily, "My…

I went to see Black Swan in the theater with my dad and stepmom, and missed the lesbian sex scene because I was in the bathroom. I thought the movie was fantastic and so the next week took my mom and GRANDPARENTS. I was horrified when Mila and Natalie started going at it. My mom turned to me and whispered angrily, "My…

I want the miscarriages inventory!!!!!

I want the miscarriages inventory!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watc…

http://www.youtube.com/watc…

I can't believe how HBO completely cut out Jaqen's ridiculously hot badassery in his takedown of Harrenhal. I want my Weasel soup. And if we don't see his face change, WTF? No Faceless Man of Braavosi?

I can't believe how HBO completely cut out Jaqen's ridiculously hot badassery in his takedown of Harrenhal. I want my Weasel soup. And if we don't see his face change, WTF? No Faceless Man of Braavosi?

Myles McNutt, I've grown to enjoy your reviews. But this is the week I'm breaking up with The Office. It's gotten too boring and devoid of pathos. Farewell.

I don't mind her clothes, body or hair, I just don't like her face. And the fact that they changed her name. The way she turned the tables on Theon here wasn't as nearly satisfying as when she pulled out the axe and knife in the book. Bottom line: disappointing.

WINTERFELL! HOT PIE!

She's just so fucking ugly, like everyone in and around Pyke, apparently.

Towards.

I spotted a Nathan Rabin on the Purple Line Express on Tuesday and I didn't get shit.

No, it's still bizarrely crowded. You can't escape the horrible children.

So my choices are to wait another seven months to see the whole thing or schlepp out to Navy Pier this weekend and see six minutes of it? I'm both impatient and lazy. What to do?

Well, back then True Blood wasn't as big. It's averaging between 4 and 5 million viewers now. It was hovering under 2 million then.

How many times have we heard Sookie say "Don't you die on me!" ? I feel like she's required to say it once a season. It's like True Blood's "I have a bad feeling about this."

Yeah, I was pretty close to declaring this season to be my last of True Blood, but this finale was better than most. Honestly though, Sookie's ping pong break up game was way too drawn out (especially when we know she's going to get together with one of them before long). Ditto Jason and Jessica's post-coital couples'…