@avclub-bca3531762af8a993c4f60c48fd5e33b:disqus, yeah but don't get it everywhere.  It's like impossible to get out of fabric.

Will this movie at least have Nic Cage?

Yeah, and I think the states would mostly benefit from restarting copper tariffs.  It's the only way to make sure that gays aren't going to marry and stuff.

Enlightenment principles?  Ha, yeah I used to think that too.  This country was founded on Ancient Alien principles, friend.  Now here's why we can't definitively say that Monticello wasn't a starport…

It's cool you guys, they're just doing a good old fashioned Christian side hug. http://www.youtube.com/watc…

Wait, are you guys serious? Are we finally doing an 18th century revival?
*Opens top drawer, pulls out mercury tempered hat*
I can't wait to finally form my own smithing guild!

When that moon colony comes through, we'll find somebody up there to space-genocide.

"What should we do about Muslims?  What did the pilgrims do about Muslims?  Were there Muslims on the Mayflower?  Why won't you answer me?"  -Cameron to a granite Eagle statue somewhere in Boston

When I started reading The Onion, I didn't know a ton about pop culture or current events, and always assumed The Onion was more extreme than reality, but recently it seems like reality itself has become more cartoonish than the cartoons we draw to satirize it.

"I've got gay marriage on my 6!"
"I'm on your 6!"
(Blastz a Fart)

This preview is actually a bait and switch.  The movie is actually entirely about how depression is the only reasonable mindset in an indifferent universe, as demonstrated by Steve Carrell. 

Now that I think about it, I do wanna close my eyes.

Inside Grad Students are Worst's brain "Ok, this post looks really long, let's see if the number of likes it got indicates whether or not I should read it.  Huh, only 8? Maybe I'll skip it in that ca- wait a minute, did that say….
'I have
been able to merge hentai and Disney together to create the perfect
lucid…

Wow, this post actually made me remember having some very confusing feelings at age 5 about a grown woman dressed as Jasmine in Disneyworld.

The mystery deepens.

Way to dangerous for my taste.  I don't much care for capricious women.

@avclub-8975849dc544b669b37b1877b40d9685:disqus Yeah, between that costume and her adorable southern accent, I spent 3rd grade pretty much starry eyed over her.

Winona Ryder gets an awful lot of characters I've fallen madly and totally in love with.  Her character in Beetlejuice was my template to assess girls with for a while.

The actress who played Professor Slater was exactly my type.  Anyone who fits the mold of pale, dark haired women like Linda Fiorentino and Maura Tierney is someone who I'm instantly a sucker for.

Ok, that was pretty good.