Sometime in the fall of 2003, I was super drunk, walking around my college campus, and I heard some guy waiting to get into a bar tell his friend "…which is why I voted for Nader." I told him he was a fucking asshole and I ripped off his hat and threw it in the street. If that was you, I apologize for being so rude.

No, it was the really fun one about old-timey magicians.

It would be nice, at least, if they could have even a six month memory.

A lot of people think he won't do that because he's evil. I disagree. He's just stupid and lazy, and all of that sure sounds like a lot of work. Usually he barks things and someone with his last name figures the rest out. Why can't it be like that?

I think he means in the climate where the GOP controls everything, and nothing matters, and there are no rules. Also, voters continue to vote against it when they have it right in front of them.

Yeah, what the fuck was that last sentence? When did the AV Club just start straight up shilling for political policies? That was so totally out of place with everything else here. Is this what the future holds?

No. Because, why the fuck would we do that in a conversation about R Kelly?

Because he's a decent human being, and is one of the last politicians from an era when people were allowed to disagree politically but could still understand we're all humans? For fucks sake.

You were probably thinking that nothing matters and the world is completely fucked, so why not enjoy a tiny bit of mindless solace from the real world by getting absolutely hammered. Or maybe that's just me.

When I read the quote that Jr can't wait for "these four years to be up," it dawned on me that they might be planning to walk away in 2020. That would explain their announcing their re-election campaign in January, so they can collect all of that sweet campaign money well before having to do any campaigning. And if…

I like when the family losses all of their money. And even though it's almost always the husbands fault for being far too fast and loose, you can tell that their marriage will never be the same again after the wife makes the "wrong" decision with the contract. It's great!

It's funny and has good leads? Just spit-ballin'.

And yet he's still using his platform for good. What's the point?

Can we just make up some new title for him, Like Very Great Best Leader, and tell him how great it is because no black guy ever got to be that before, and his only requirement was to play with trucks all day, would all of us, including him, just be so much happier? We'll all have to play along and act like he's doing…

Lots and lots of liberal tears there, so what's not to love?!

They are right about the Pixar movie, probably. But they should be excommunicated from your life for trying to compare Dreamworks with Pixar.

This elitist, out of touch opinion on terrible facebook memes is why the liberals lost the election.

Isn't smug douchery pretty much the default setting for South Park?

Per PeepingTorgo: Someone tell natureslayer to unblock me cause I genuinely want to hash out this beef, cause I don't understand

Yesterday I discovered that some channel in my cable package was still showing marathons of Cosby Show reruns, and it made me a little sick to my stomach.