And in both cases the cheating wasn't needed, and it's the cover up of the stupid incident that caused (will cause) the biggest punishment.

He learned how to kill people from his time in Florida, not his time with Belichick.

Now you'll just have to read about Morgan Freeman's favorite restaurants in Santa Fe.

I first heard about this…what would you even call this? meme? stupidity?…last week from my wife. I made that exact same slackjawed look for about an hour.

Zeek has him locked in the storage unit as punishment for ruining his France trip.

I had two majors, and had enough credits to finish my film degree but was still working on my other. Thank you for assuming my parents paid for it.

The lead singer of Stroke 9 arrested for violent assault over a backpack.

Don't worry, mainstream rock stations are making a come back, playing a whole new breed of crappola.

I hate that new feature. I did the same thing, and after that I saw a stream of people threatening to destroy France because of Charlie Hedbo. It sure was an uplifting afternoon.

No, no, no. You misunderstand. It's just that if you in the slightest, most meaningless way poke fun at America, you deserve to be raped by a family member.

But he knows where his bread is buttered. I have no doubt that the venn diagram of "People who buy Kid Rock albums" and "Uncles that molest" is pretty much just a circle.

He wasn't born here. So fuck him!

If Seth Rogan was molested by his uncle, and the only long term psychological effect was an aversion to war movies, I'd say he's doing pretty well.

Common knowledge to us? Sure. Common knowledge the idiots that for some reason litter all of our social media feeds? Noooope.

Happy Endings did a pretty good job replicating my life in Chicago.

Nothing about that movie made me want to run out, impregnate a stranger, then tag along for a wacky abortion. That was the worst propaganda film of all time if that was it's intention. Which, of course, was not it's intention.

Bill Belichick jokes.

I've always felt bad for Jeb, even if I agree with none of his politics. He was the smart one being groomed for a long career in national politics. They let W have Texas so he wouldn't muck anything up for the adults in the room, then somehow he barges his way into the White House, and Jeb has to spend the next 10…

But it's been replaced by the beautiful bigotry that is conservative outrage! Hooray!

And once again, Barack HUSSEIN Obama proves he doesn't care about Americans.