"And his reward for his loyalty and resourcefulness is to die abandoned on a sidewalk."
That's when the tears started.

John, as someone with your exact skin tone (and creepily, face), I can tell you that a light gray suit is very tough to pull off. You do admirably, but stick to darker colors.

When the rocket wagon sputters the first time, you know someone is going to have get left behind. Then it's just a countdown to sobbing.

Everything about that essay, from the writing style, to the tone, to the opinion expressed, is terrible and dumb.

No, very good.

There was a Russian version too. One of the guys showed up for International Gladiators - a short but super wide dude named Dynamite. I remember he got overexcited during the Joust and fell off the platform immediately.

I was at a Blockbuster Video in Milwaukee where Ice and Nitro were signing autographs. Ice had on her red, white, and blue star-spangled bikini uniform. Nitro was wearing jeans and black t-shirt. Ice was very annoyed, but Nitro was all, "Yeah, sorry, they just told me to wear whatever." When I got up to the table,…

Was that the one where Megabyte fucking owns on guitar? I really love the one (I guess the last one actually) where they recount the whole serious to the tune of I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General.

Top Secret was on TV a while ago, and I tried to get my girlfriend to watch, telling her that it was one of my favorite spoofs as a kid. 15 laughless minutes later, she turned to me and asked "How old were you when you though this was funny?"

Yeah, but it's a good song.

PFT's riffing is my favorite, but the improv bits have lots of gems. The entire Savannah, GA bit was marvelous. And I chuckle whenever I think of the name "Poosibly."

I've done the same with Skid Row. Relatedly, I went through a pretty heavy "Saint Seamus" period.

No discussion of Thursdays' SOLO BOLO? I, for one, loved it. They knew I wanted signing, and they gave it to me good.

That's some classic Waldorf and Statler schtick. Great Job, Internet friends.

Except what's the opposite of a miracle?

Big Trouble in Little China #11. Issues 1-5 were too much a retread of the movie, but everything after that has been great.

I'm Herman Cain, and I approve this game.

It's an odd thing that happens when you have the conversation with yourself that starts with the question, "Am I going to approve of this gimmick poster?" You start to deconstruct your own sense of humor and ultimately the amount of energy you are willing to devote to forming an opinion. And that doesn't even touch …

There are much worse things.

A very amusing and enjoyable diversion, Internet.