Theoden in LotR
The book, not the movie. The movie's version was pretty toothless. In the book, it just seems a lot darker and more hopeless, as the good guys start losing and he dies without ever knowing that Eowyn is right next to him. It's late; I'm not articulating very well why it gets me so much. I guess there's…

Technically, Gandalf didn't die. But I see what you mean, especially the film version, which actually improved on the passage in the book.

Even though I would quit LOST a few episodes into S4 out of general disgust with its convoluted aimlessness, I must admit that Charlie's death almost made me turn back. It was quite a good sendoff for such a major character.

Lurching? Ponderous? Uneven? Sluggish? Schizophrenic? Unwieldy? Any of those could probably have conveyed his meaning without much confusion. I'm not hating just to hate, here; I honestly didn't know what Keith meant. And it seems as if even the people who didn't mind his choice of phrase are split on what exactly it…

Time for the pull-quote game!
"Princess Kaiulani is … stretched and straining … pregnant … [with] most of the country's citizens. … But … her … fire … returns to … express ultimate fury[!]" —Tasha Robinson, The AV Club

Trebuchet-like?
The pacing is like a trebuchet in that it's … counterweighted? What? The meaning of this simile escapes me. Clarity first, Keith, THEN you can wow us with your clever Robin Hood-themed adjectives.

Yeah, Mega Man music FTW. That stuff is the aural equivalent of opening a 10-pound box of Nerds and then tipping the whole thing into your mouth.

Superhero comics have multiple-villain teamups all the time. Sinister Six, anyone? The difference is that the teamups all consist of characters that have already been introduced and had whole issues devoted to their development, while film adaptations try to cram in backstory and teamup action all into the same movie.…

Ditto, Japan. I liked the movie as a whole, but that was the suckiest climax for an action blockbuster ever. The hero spent most of it incapacitated, the villain was a worse shot than a stormtrooper, and it ended with Gwyneth Paltrow flipping a switch. Stupid.

Spiderman 3 bloat
Good to hear it doesn't quite succumb to the bloat that ruined Spiderman 3. I was quite worried that it would after seeing the trailers. Too many subplots, multiple villains, obviously drenched in money … well, let's just say that I consider it a victory if it doesn't outright suck.

Ouch. It must be a bad feeling to find out that one became an alcoholic based on a pop-culture misunderstanding.

Dark Passage = meh, The Big Sleep = yes please
I caught Dark Passage on TCM over the Christmas holidays, and didn't find much to recommend it once the novelty of the POV shots wore off. It was kind of boring, to be frank—Bogart didn't display much personality, and while Bacall came off a bit better, there was an…

On a related note, can we have Friday Buzzkills back now? It always had a bit of overlap with The Hater, and I've missed it ever since it went away.

No nudity, Ernie? How about the fact that the horse is naked THE ENTIRE TIME? The fact that you didn't even notice merely highlights the increasing eroticization of the equine form in today's culture.

Billy: The best defense I can muster for Indy 4 is that a few of the action sequences managed to recapture the old magic of the originals. Spielberg's inexplicable decision to show the Boof swingin' with the monkeys notwithstanding, the majority of the chase scene in the jungle was perfectly enjoyable, and the…

Ugh, really?
Those plot summaries sound unbearably schmaltzy. I'm a Spielberg apologist, but even I don't think I could stomach something that sounds like "Black Beauty: The War Years."

"You craven, pudding-spined clitoris of a man"
Yowch. That was one of the more savage takedowns I've seen recently. Good—the guy had it coming.

I like Brian Regan. I'm not really a comedy geek, so I can't compare him to too many other comics, but I think he's funny, and you could definitely do a lot worse than listening to him Will Ferrell his way through stories of his childhood. And yeah, it is kind of a relief to listen to a standup who doesn't feel the…

$19?
Guess ol' Stevie doesn't command the same fees he used to.

Ugh, I really want the lyrics to "Fix You" to be better. The music in that song is epic arena rock at its finest, but the words are so fatuous and immature that it's impossible for me to fully enjoy it. Shameful waste, that.