Sorry, old sport.  I forgot about your bad ear, you know, old sport.  Won't happen again, old pet, old sport, old sod.

Anything is better than Leonardo DiCaprio in "The Great Gatsby", old sport.

Not a looker in the bunch.

CD STORE DAY DEC. 7, 2013.

You must be joking?  That precious little Faberge egg diva is absolutely in love with himself!

You couldn't pay me enough to even have a conversation with that dweeb, it's not like he's Jimi Hendrix or something.

I'm pretty sure that Jack White lost his virginity to Fred Savage.

Fun fact: I enjoy the stand-up of Steven Wright and Mitch Hedberg, AND EMO PHILIPS!  Gilbert Gottfried, too.

We also lost the Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges, shit ain't right!

Regardless of the title, we all know it is going to suck.

Dear Jack White: History will not remember you fondly, if at all.

You're thinking of Lena Dunham.

I was at Lollapalooza back in 1993, and was actually on stage with the Boredoms.  Things were better then.

I'm still angry at Julianne Moore for stealing my virginity.

We must stop Hipster humor wherever we find it, we simply must!

Well; she's lesbian, but not lesbian enough.  So, no dice!

We are all trolls in the eyes of the lord.  God bless all you folks.

It is important to write episodes about your fellow man.

You want people to "like" your comment, don't you?

I can't wait until January.