Yo I agree about Portnoy's Complaint! I mean it's been a while since I've read it, but wasn't there a scene where the guy gets hard to the thought of masturbating in order to bang a woman he wasn't attracted to? Did little 12-year-old Phil just go through 99% of the book having absolutely no idea what was going on?

Speaking of questionably responsible parents, what was with Phil Dyess-Nugent reading Portnoy's Complaint when he was TWELVE? If the "sex stuff" went over his head, there wasn't really much left of the book.

They could call it Yauch Pauch.

My inner child is basically a snobby 19-year-old by this point, so I would have preferred a list of movies that my inner and outer adults could enjoy together.

I probably wouldn't have even gotten up from my chair in the first place.

Sounds like a good lineup to me — especially the Mountain Goats (though I couldn't really get into their latest album).

Unless you were talking about how yeah, I guess rape is a problem but what about those upstanding young men who are falsely accused of rape sometimes?!, then you've got a ways to go before you enable that transformation.

My niece needed help with her math homework in which she had to find the tangent to a circle, which I barely remembered how to do. But then instead of helping her I started thinking of how we are all, in a way, at best, finding tangents to circles and thinking that if we get enough tangents to one circle that perhaps,…

Personally, I think pistachios are the best nut, even taking into consideration the ones where the shell is open only like a slit and you have to pretend like you didn't want that particular pistachio anyway.

I'm just about finished with the story collection Blasphemy by Sherman Alexie, which I've really liked. A lot of his stories have a kind of bluntness to them that I go back and forth on (but usually forth) — especially re race. I don't know if people are a fan of Alexie, but I'd recommend checking this story out some…

Yo yeah same thing happened to me earlier today. After my ordeal this morning, I really started to empathize with people in society who feel like they don't have a voice, and, like, people whose freedom of speech is suppressed by the government or whatever.

If I didn't know this was a TV show, I'd think you were a disappointed ghost.

SHUT UP NO ONE CARES.

I won't know what to say to the donor even though I have all of the information necessary to know what to say to the donor.

I had some leftover beef/mushroom/tomato stew, which actually tasted better as a leftover than as a dinner. NOT A BAD DEAL.

I had a Bad Gateway ALL MORNING. Luckily I just reminded myself that everything I had to say was absolutely worthless. Made me feel much better!

CONGRATULATIONS.

My girlfriend recently told me that she hates this song. And then she told me that she thought it was by Pink Floyd.

Isn't that where we got that whole "manifest destiny" idea from?

Nope. Close, though! We'll call it a slant.