Lana DAWES Rey.

So the Beatles can make whimsical songs about octopi, serial killers, and birthdays but one man can't write songs about mad scientists, George Plimpton, and fatherhood. I understand.

We miss the Sucklord, and here's why you should, too.

Or I legitimately like it when someone makes clever songs with unothodox subject matter that have a sense humor while not explicitly being novelty music.

The Hammer is my penis.

Bob Dylan did it!

So I guess "Nobody Loves You Like Me" will be the new song I quietly sing to myself for the next month or two.

Banana oil!

How long has it been since the last one where Josh Brolin can pull off "Young Tommy Lee Jones"?

It's "Fresh, creamery butter." you nitwit! Get your romantic comedy quotes right!

He was probably arrested again when they filmed this.

This all seems like Radiohead's way of saying we love our new album, and here's why you should, too.

There was no surprises that someone would make this joke.

Perhaps now Warren Ellis will find the time to make that Transmetropolitan adaptation with Patrick Stewart.

The plastic tips at the end of shoelaces are called aglets. Their true purpose is sinister.

Which I call frogurt!

"Mmm I love calzones."

There we go.

Why the fuck isn't Phonte and The Roots on this? The Beastie Boys new album was also pretty good.

I'm waiting for the rerelease of Spookydisharmoniousconflicthellride.