My best friend and I once decided that we should name children after professions: Mailman in particular cracked us up, but it was very, very early in the morning.

I somehow managed to read Infinite Jest in a month. That is how fucking good it is. And I still think about it all the time. It stays with you, and it is hilarious and sad at the same time.

Rooney scared ME.

Ben Stiller wasn't even funny on Curb Your Enthusiasm. The only scene where he was amusing was when LD wouldn't get out of the backseat of his car, and even then, the funniest line was Larry David's: "Are you saying I'm a man-child?!"

I agree. I never want to see it again, but I enjoyed it for what it was- a big dumb kid's movie where Teddy Roosevelt bangs Sacajawea.

I went to DC a couple of years ago, and we went to the Air & Space museum. I desperately wanted to go to the Museum of American History, but it was closed due to flooding (there was a gigantic rainstorm- which I had to walk through in flip-flops and no coat or umbrella.

I remember when her wedding was a gigantic deal.

Young people dying
Fucking sad. I love the Friday Buzzkills, but I am now seriously saddened over people I never knew and have barely heard of.

"Gummi Bears- They Hibernate In Your Colon!"

My 11th grade English class had an ironic obsession with John Stossel. I've mentioned it before, I think. So I can't hate him because of that.

She learned to play the ukulele in "Not-So-Tiny Tim".

Personally, I think that the bowler needs to make a comeback. You can pretend that you're in an amateur theater production of Waiting for Godot!

I usually don't talk about it, because no one really needs to know as far as I'm concerned, but when I *do*, I just say that I'm on my period. No cutesy euphemisms from me! I calls 'em as I sees 'em.

Yay!
I wondered when Silly Little Show-Biz Book Club was going to make a triumphant return!

Chang, may the can rise up for you to eat it
May you always be developing the shit out of some business

I want Yakety Sax played at my wedding rather than my funeral.

I wish that my parents were cool enough to play Dead Kennedys around a little me, but they weren't and I'm okay with that. My mom played the Moody Blues and Jesus Christ Superstar all the time. Both freaked me out for some reason.

And why no whole milk? That's a MAAAAANNNN'S milk. Low-fat. Awww…are you watching your weight? Want to stay in shape for your godless homosexual orgies?

I, uh, don't HAVE chunky residue, but I suppose they can aid me in performing wild and nude acts which, were I more creative, would be veiled in vaguely relevant innuendo.

The thing about it for me, I didn't even find this disgusting. I just found it unsettling. I tried to understand why someone would create this and I was disquieted. And I eat macaroni pretty much every night (whole-wheat, but still).