Who am I?
I listen to noise music, avant-garde noodling and Frank Zappa.

Man, I love Neil Hamburger.

Hey, in his defense, Dweezil was actually named (to my recollection) Ian Calvin Euclid Zappa, because the nurse wouldn't write "Dweezil" on the birth certificate. When he found out, he had his name legally changed to Dweezil.

Now, are the people really tiny, or is the bag really big?

I have started a slow clap before. It's been all downhill after that.

I'm waiting for some Time Life video to be advertised on late night/early morning TV:

And the song, to be fair.

He can't do both?

I worked at a Cold Stone for 3 days.

Tell me where does all the magic goooooooo
When the curtain falls to end the shooooow
Tell me, do the clowns always cryyyyy
When they pack up…
THE PAPER SKY?!

Pod People is my favorite episode of MST3K.

(a quote I use in restaurants ALL THE TIME):

Basic Books
I like how the name of the publishing company is Basic Books.

There's some good hardcore (Dead Kennedys are still hXc, rite OMG?), but I actually kind of agree.

I want to start a band called Toxeth O'Grady, USA.

I really liked Juno too, even if the fact that she had never heard of Sonic Youth threw me out of the film. It was a movie about people my age who actually seemed like the type of people I know and hang out with, only slightly exaggerated to please the WORLD AT LARGE.

So….Sixth Graders Gone Wild is your idea of a good time?

Don't feel bad. This shit has made me a crotchety fuck too, and I'm not even the legal drinking age.

I remember…
…when I was going through the process to make my confirmation (to please my mom, after that I gave religion a big "fuck you"), some guy came in to talk to my 'class'. He was an atheist-turned-Catholic, and kept saying shit that amounted to "IT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU!".

Oh, Axl Rose…
You conniving bastard! This Chinese Democracy album is clearly just the grandest show business hoax of our time!