By alternative ways you mean a time machine, right?

I think s/he meant the Nickelodeon show. Unless there was a special episode of the ABC show with John Quinones slinging pies at people that I'm not aware of.

Dong Dong, the Chinese trampolinist, still has the best name of any Olympian.

The Sweden-Germany match was a pitch-perfect ending for the women's tournament. I loved telling people that Germany scored once, Sweden scored twice, and Germany won. If only Germans had a word for enjoying the misfortune of cowards.

You're really not that far off. The NYC CBS affiliate is channel 2 here. So, naturally, they had the "Doppler 2 Million" because 2000 would make it sound weak: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

For some reason the NYC NBC affiliate has a habit of using the Olympics to advertise its latest ridiculous weather radar. Back in 1996 they had an infamous 3-minute commercial for "Doppler 4000" which they would repeat endlessly during the Olympics: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

You know, I came into the Olympics wanting to see Brazil win their long-coveted Olympic Soccer golds. I thought there was nothing quite as beautiful as seeing a home team win in their favorite sport in their home country.

It's not from racewalking, though. The bib is completely different and he has a runner's form. My curiosity got the better of me and I found out it's actually from a half-marathon, which kind of makes it more hilarious. Like, I know Paula Radcliffe used to take a public piss in the middle of marathons, but you'd think…

I'll just copy and paste my post from What's on Tonight:

I never understood the initial decision to begin with. Wrestling has to be dirt cheap to put on compared to sports like golf or skateboarding that need specific venues built.

Oh, god, that reminds me of the Pizza Hut commercial they've been showing: https://www.ispot.tv/ad/Ay_…

Pfft, Bolt can't even beat Billy Bush in race walking: http://www.today.com/video/…

Today is the start of Track & Field events, which can only mean one thing: Men's 20km Race Walking!

Yeah, I figure it'll be a wash if the US does well. But if the US did worse than Russia, for example, I could easily see Trump unironically saying that the US should do whatever Russia's doing with its athletes.

Interesting that you bring up the Olympics, because I've been wondering if the performance of the US could have some influence on the election. If the US did poorly, Trump would've used it as an opportunity to "Make America Great Again at the Olympics." But so far the US sits atop the medal table — thanks in no small…

What kind of Simpsons quote is that?

It only occurred to me the other day that ABC originally had new episodes scheduled against the Olympics. But I guess the shows did better than expected so they didn't want to burn them off. Very curious to see when they'll finally see the light of day.

Don't worry, I'm sure she'll get on board when wrestling starts next week. I hear there's a new tag team event this year.

Reporter: Michael Phelps, what are your thoughts on beating Le Clos, who took the gold from you in 2012?

The DCEU: