Bateman's a scientist.

Bateman's a scientist.

Tou-fuckin'-che, my friend. Nicely played.

Tou-fuckin'-che, my friend. Nicely played.

But, seriously, YOU GUYS, Breaking Bad.

But, seriously, YOU GUYS, Breaking Bad.

I would crawl over all of your corpses if it meant I'd get to have muchas smooches with her, 49, 39, 29, whatever.

I would crawl over all of your corpses if it meant I'd get to have muchas smooches with her, 49, 39, 29, whatever.

Wow, you're horrible. Congrats.

Wow, you're horrible. Congrats.

Meth, and even shows about meth, is a hell of a drug.

Meth, and even shows about meth, is a hell of a drug.

She's only 40.

She's only 40.

Lest we forget this, Chris Martin gets to answer "all" to the age-old question, "How much fuck Gwyneth Paltrow?" and for that I will be forever envious. Make all your GOOP jokes, she's absolutely stunning.

Lest we forget this, Chris Martin gets to answer "all" to the age-old question, "How much fuck Gwyneth Paltrow?" and for that I will be forever envious. Make all your GOOP jokes, she's absolutely stunning.

I wish I understood 0% of the headline, instead of about 66%.

I wish I understood 0% of the headline, instead of about 66%.

How about 45 notifications from @WrathOfKong:twitter overnight? That didn't make the list?

How about 45 notifications from @WrathOfKong:twitter overnight? That didn't make the list?