Really, that last qualification negates the contest. *Only* a weirdo would want to win that thing.

I remember what seemed like a months-long effort to assemble Smashing Pumpkins' quasi-unreleased Machina II. Not entirely worth it.

I remember how much of a chore it was to acquire a complete album. Seeking out a track list, downloading one song at a time at like 4.5kbps, late at night as to not tie up the phone lines.

Realistically, Trump and Congress could all paint pentagrams on their foreheads and burn children alive on the house floor live on CSPAN, and the current gerrymandered district map would still save them the house in 2018.

"…he will be forced to address this."

I asked him to sign my Blade II DVD after one of his shows and he was a real dick about it.

Good Lord, haven't those people suffered enough?

To be fair, at least half of those people were just voting against Hillary. He could've ran on a platform of bringing back polio and providing vocational training for narwhals, and he'd still have pulled ~30 million votes.

"paid for with tax cuts."

I've been saying this whole frickin time that Trump's going to be exactly like Alfred Molina's character in Show Me a Hero, and get into office and say, "Oops. I looked into it, and it turns out I can't do anything I said I would because it's all stupid or dangerous or illegal, but I was the only guy brave and smart…

My first encounter with Tecate was getting into a cab from an airport in Mexico, and the cabbie tossing a can to me in the back seat. That is how cabs should work everywhere.

A suitably interesting punishment…

Here, have this Bud Light Lime instead. It's like a Corona with lime (Skittles) already in the bottle!

Sure, for now. But the demographics suggest that GOP would need an economic miracle (or another Hillary) to win in 2020. That he literally started erasing campaign promises from his website within hours of election does not bode well for the populist wave (if losing the popular vote can be described as a 'wave'…) he…

I don't know how you could possible satirize an outcome that was already the subject of multiple satires. It would be like a knock-knock joke that goes "knock-knock. Who's there? A knock-knock joke."

Our populace is too comfortable for that, and there's no issue big enough to change that.

My precious upvoooootes! RIP, Avatar Avatar.

I got something! Are legacy, non-discus AV Club accounts dead now? Mine hasn't worked on any device for like a week. It looks like I logged in, but then I'm not.

Most Liberal? Come on. Not saying we should be, but, Europe.

They only point fingers when elections are lost. Fucking up the country is just fine thanks to rationalization. Went to war with the wrong country? Meh, those guys were dicks anyways. Global warming? Look how nice Maine is in the fall now! Economic collapse? Gas is so cheap now!