You can live a healthy life and still get cancer. Or MS or ALS, or several other diseases. Or, you know, get in a car accident.

What a brazen play to be appointed Secretary of Eugenics. Heard the position is still open.

“You’re in a cult, call your dad.”

Zero. Zero cocaines. Taking cocaine and then going to an event like this would be like smoking pot and taking some Valium before going to a death metal mosh pit.

You should come to Cornwall next weekend. May 8th is Flora Day, when the furry dance happens. First dance is at 7.30 am, with several more after that, and the dance has to follow traditional routes and go in and out of people’s houses.

Right?

Where does this madness end? It’s frankly ridiculous to insert asparagus into the story of a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father and can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is…

I love how even Mark Zuckerberg was not important enough for them to open the China cabinet and use the good setting. Plastic plates, cups and cutlery for guests... why am I not surprised these folks voted for Trump?

Let’s offer him and James O’Keefe a million dollar prize to fight to the death on live TV. I feel like they’re both thirsty enough to actually do it, and whatever the outcome it’s win for humanity.

My main secret is that I do.

Same. Rome was my show. It still tickles me that how and where the writers wove Pullo into the history of Rome.

Since you asked...

They should reenact a few scenes from Rome by the only (fake) centurions worth remembering.

Mr. Trump cannot even send birthday wishes without positioning himself in absolute center of the photograph.

Scientology is really not comparable to Islam, or any other established faith with centuries of history and millions upon millions of followers.

“It’s funny, the left says they really respect women, and then when given an opportunity to respect a woman like that, they boo and hiss. 

This guy is such a douche canoe.

“As good fortune would have it, we had a bodyguard that summer,” she writes. They persuaded their bodyguard to buy lemonade, and then their driver, and then the maids, who “dug deep for their spare change.” The lesson, she says, is that the kids “made the best of a bad situation.”

I love how Bald people are literally the only people left on Earth that are somehow allowed to be made fun of.

A mom who delivered at 32 weeks bc of Preeclampsia here! Virtually same medical story...Drs finally decided that risk of my (and baby’s) death>pre term delivery.