And a different fiance

I’m not feeling it. I would rather just have the cash. 

I went googling for a Dumbo Bambie hybrid expecting the internet to fail me... I give you the glory that is Dumbie.

And gosh, here you are to catalog all of it.  We thank you for your service.

Where did you learn to spell dummy?? 

So what you’re saying is this Goldberg guy is some kind of rube?

Omg she looks like him

That’s as far as I made it, and my reaction was “Wow, I want to get this guy drunk and then fuck him up.”

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, dumbie.

That was such a hot take on marriage I’m literally on fire now.

“They’re never going to get married because they think marriage is too mainstream,” the source said.

He’s like a bootleg Shkreli. 

You can always spot the shitheel by their use of "go Google what I said for evidence." Do assholes like this actually expect anyone to take them seriously? 

NOBODY GETS ME DRUNK

Everyone should read the very mean and funny New Yorker story on him. You can boil all of his success down to “he used SEO” and boil all his ideas for the future down to “he’s going to try use SEO again.”

A Bryan Goldberg machine is a device designed to perform a simple task incorrectly.

Oprah is absolutely the definition of self-made. 

If converting B-list fame into a billion dollars was easy, Jennifer Love Hewitt would be on this list.

Looks like we now know what was going on during those missing four weeks.

Thata BULLSHIT!!! Robyn Dolittle is a bawse.