That is the loveliest thing ever.

Twertle.

The single greatest thing to come out of their Paris trip was this tourist who had zero clue who Jay Z was, and gave zero fucks, and then just introduced himself to a rather pissed off Jay Z with "Me Paul".

I just had a solid minute-long meditation in slow-mo of Kat Dennings giving Groban the side eye while he runs around the room singing You Raise Me Up whilst waving his junk at her in a failing attempt to comedically procure some lovin'. Many thanks for perking up my day at the office.

Amanda Bynes is unwell and apparently very alone in the world at the moment. It looks like she struggles to stay well and safe. I really think the tone of this isn't helpful at all. People like this need to be looked out for, not jokingly lumped into some kind of "Kerraazy people of NY" category. (And when I say…

Bumhole exposure not necessary for tattooing last time I checked. There's a joke to be made here about Gaga talking out of her arse but it's allllmost 5pm on a Friday in Europe Town and I am getting me a fizzy wine so i'll leave the LOLZ up to one of you good folk.

I read "grows roots" and now have The Roots, "The Seed", rattling around in my brain with images of vaginal tuber gardens accompanying the song. What a gross start to a Friday.

Well, I heard that not only is she a fella, but she was a carpenter involved in building the set of the "moon landings".

I'm lashing a drop of brandy into my Ovaltine that night. No way I'll keep my eyes open until the end of the show but whatever. YOLO.

As much as I full on adored the following: "Bono (from iTunes presents U2)", may I request you refer to them in future as "iTunes bonus gift U2", cos it makes it sound even more pathetic and this pleases me greatly as an Irish gentleperson. "Bonus gift" is more like getting a free dish cloth when you buy 2 litres of…

Neighbouring islander, friend. Ireland person at your service. I miss Fox's Glacier Mints now. And Jaffa Cakes.

Hotter than Hiddleston, for real. John Oliver is ruler of all things at the moment.

Pssst, Tom, over here Tom. You with your silken curls and Fox's Glacier Mints for eyes.

As much as I think this is an unfortunate combination of wrong audience and incorrect headline, there is some spectacularly shit advice in there.

Nap and dream of kittens, friend, not hideous murder stuff.

When I read them in close proximity to each other, "I want a.." will always be followed by a noun and "I wanna..." will be followed by a verb, which placed in the context of your comments above makes me think that the "turkey leg" is some dance that all the hip kids are into, like The Mashed Potato or The Twist.

Firstly, when Mr. Fancy Flying Pants mentions "painting rags" as one of the things he sees in airports, all I can picture is something like this:

The issue here is that they forgot to factor in a nice bottle of red over dinner. And the frozen mac and cheese dinner I'm currently eating at my desk (I blame this entirely on the first bout of Fall PMS of 2014). Anyway, adding 12,000 steps just for soda means I should add like 20,000 or some shit for all that…

Thank you for covering this. As an Irish woman living abroad, it absolutely terrifies me that this could happen in my country. The abject horror of being stuck with your rapist's child in you, as a petrified 18-year-old with no access to the money to travel for an abortion or the mental health with which to…

I worked in a dodgy clothes shop when I was 18. We sold sparkly thongs that had cheap sequins on them so you could potentially saw your own vulva off if you walked at too fast a pace. Anyway, the boss got hella drunk at the Christmas party and slid her neon green shorts down to show us a stunningly crafted "100% IRISH…