Many happy returns of the day, Basil Fawlty!

Who is this guy? He looks like a real douchebag to me.

Don't hate on Girl Scout cookies. They made me what I am today! (A toothless, overweight diabetic.)

You bet it's discriminatory. When I lived in a Grand Rapids, Michigan (a conservative Christian hotbed) in the 1990s, not only weren't stores open on Sunday, the signs and newspaper ads all said: "CLOSED SUNDAY, BUT CHURCH IS OPEN."

I've got a permanent exemption here in Texas due to my mobility issues (I can't stand or walk without great pain) but my husband is called almost every year and he LOVES it even though he's never really been selected for a jury. (I think he mostly loves not having to go to the office.)

So he's too big a dickhead to even know how to light a decent fire.

Yup. She was wearing a striped fuzzy bathing suit. I had a brunette Barbie, my sister had the blonde.

My first Barbie (actually, my only Barbie) was the first Barbie ever made, the one with the really weird head and ponytail from the late 1950s. I was nine years old at the time and this was the coolest doll on the planet because she didn't wet her pants or say "mama!"

Nope. There definitely were light brown M&Ms back in the day. The light brown ones were my favorite. Also orange.

No. It can't be Halloween candy or fast food. It's definitely Congress.

Me too. I've had diarrhea three times today, each time after reading another article about the fucked up teabaggers in Congress. It's gotten so bad that I grab toilet paper at the sight of Turd Cruz's face.

Dog shit is more popular than the GOP, too.

This dude looks like a goat. Is he supposed to be sexy?

OMG, Neil Diamond. I had such a crush on him back in the day ... starting in 1966 with Cherry Cherry! And he still looks awfully damn wonderful at age 72 ...

Damn, I miss John Oliver. <sad face>

These are even better.

That's how Fergie (Prince Andrew's ex) rolled. She'd have her "people" stop at the register in a store or restaurant and say, "You don't expect the Duchess to pay for this, do you?"

I absolutely cannot watch that spit in Miley's mouth. It makes me sick.

Does this girl even OWN a pair of pants? Holy crap. Enough already.

This was HILARIOUS. I'm no Miley fan for a variety of probably insignificant reasons, but I loved the "We Can't Stop" parody. And that's probably because I hate the GOP so much more than I ever disliked Miley!