Laird, the junkie stalky downstairs neighbor, was smoking hot?

The show took a sharp downturn after Bethenny left and Jill Zarin was fired.

You may want to avoid seeing her as a naked, hairy hippie in CRYSTAL FAIRY.

My high school boyfriend smelled like stale cigarettes and weed. Believe me, I rejoiced whenever he dabbed on a little Brut.

People stare at a 20 year old girl? Amazing. Wait till you're almost 47, Jen. You're in for some Invisible Woman shit. Trust me.

This is certainly not the time to quit the Mob Wives. Not while Renee's on a bender in Vegas, and drunkenly fuming over Natalie's "delicious" remark!

Nom. Or noms, or om noms, or whatever the fuck these perky, cutesy food blogging idiots say. Also - yummy and tummy. You're not fucking four. And add amazeballs to this list too.

That's a little cornball...

I'm nauseated at the mention of Giorgio and Poison. My friends used to practically bathe in that shit when I was in high school. I've always loved sandalwood, but I can't find a perfume that does it the way I like it - they always ruin it with either pukey floral notes, or too-sweet vanilla.

I was just whining about how there's no PLANET OF THE APES marathon today. There was a local tv station that used to run all the movies in the series back to back Thanksgiving day and night when I was younger. It was glorious.

Season schmeason. I eat pumpkin (canned) - and I spice it with cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg - all year round. It's currently 85 degrees where I live, and I just finished eating chia seed pudding with spiced pumpkin.

Wow. Blonde, slender and pretty? The fucking nerve of her. Please.

I can't stop giggling like a mental patient at this. Thank you.

Closer (Film) and "The Stranger Song" by Leonard Cohen (music).