That . . . that was amazing.

That Times article, damn. I don’t know if it’s what the writer intended, but I came away pissed this woman is not one of my best friends. How many people do you know who are that friggin honest about their personal failings *and* don’t wallow in self-pity over them?

But the water in your snot is salt water, silly!  If you get the solution right it feels way more soothing than straight water, and most of the pots I've seen in the drugstore come with wee little single-shot packages of fine salt, so you don't even have to measure it. Plus, the saline is a last defense against…

So a lot of times a body has been hanging out for quite a while before I get to embalm them; people take a surprisingly long time to make decisions when their loved one is cooling off in a hospital morgue. Anyway, the longer the postmortem interval, the more the blood has clotted, the more of a stone b*@#$ it is to…

Modal all the way. Soft as quality cotton that’s been washed a hundred times, brand-new. Pills up after a while, but I’ve got a pair that’s stayed comfy going on six years now. Gillian & O’Malley, I think is the brand, at Target, 5 for 20. (It’s a type of rayon, made from fast-growing beech trees, but way more…

I’ve used this in speeches to incoming classes at the mortuary school, when warning the female students about the fact that no man on Earth will ever believe that they can actually move a body without male assistance, “but on the plus side, after about six months you’ll have these sweet Michelle Obama shoulders” and…

I’m really curious about how these franchisee associations work, I didn’t even know they were a thing. (And I’m sorry that your business is being screwed over by the brand’s cockwomble of a figurehead.)