At least Twilight had a plot that made sense. Take away the love triangle and the vampires, and all you have is a couple of obnoxious idiots who abuse each other and the people around them, never call the cops because they have no sense of self-preservation, and trudge through dull mini-crises to fill pages

I like how the sex talk is a list of random declarations. "Your mouth is cottony and your wee wee is stiff."

Amen. The last time I had an Annual Pass a few years ago, my friends and I joked about starting a, "GIRL, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING THAT TO DISNEYLAND?!" blog that consisted entirely of photos of stiletto heels and club dresses. This is NOTHING compared to the things I've seen.

"I barely ever reread the chapter before posting because I overthink things and I feel like overediting or trying to use too many words can ruin the story."

I've seen some outfits at Disneyland and California Adventure far more scandalous than this one. Sounds to me like it was a shitty employee not making it the happiest place on Earth.

This "really bad fanfic turning into real books" trend HAS TO STOP before my brain explodes. I wouldn't mind if it was good fanfic (and there is a lot of good fanfic out there!) but it's always this horrifically written bullshit that is like the high fructose corn syrup of reading.

It's like that Michael Keaton movie where he clones himself, and then the clone clones himself and each successive copy is sloppier and sloppier. I wonder how much worse it will get.

"At least it wasn't "youre sexy" '

"I want to see your dorm room before I go honey."
No college student wants their mother(? I'm assuming) to go "honey" on them.

Guys, there is GOOD fanfic out there. Like honest-to-god incredibly well-written stuff. Please, please read some. PLEASE. Something must be done to counteract the horrendous associations that non-fandom people have with the term!

...except Fifty Shades was (in a documentable fashion) sloppy Twilight fanfic.

I actually find the modern Easter "festival of gluttony" as a celebration of Jesus, to be akin to a "festival of meat" as a celebration of Buddha. And I'm not even religious, it just seems really wrong.

I would so do this (with this mythical guarantee of safety). For some reason, my preoccupying concern in this hypothetical undertaking? "Oh no! What if you fart in the tub full of ramen noodles? I'd feel so bad! He's going to eat these!"

TO UNDERSTAND RAMEN YOU MUST BECOME RAMEN

Yeah I was curious of how they would treat the guy, and at that moment it was like "Yes, he's actually a good person." which made me more excited because it will be about two good people making life decisions pragmatically.

The moment someone warmed by butter up for me, I'd agree to have as many of their babies as they wanted

If she has the abortion AND keeps the guy this will make my century.

People's christianity cycles. The down cycle is when you go to the bar and sex with a rando. The up cycle kicks in with the pregnancy diagnosis.

"did you just fart in my face?"