You know, based on the responses I'm getting, I should put that I make bacon pancakes in my dating profile.

The Biden watched. The Biden laughed. The Biden had Biden'd his time until his plan had come to fruition. He watched with gleeful anticipation as his enemies ran before his death machine, crying out in mercy. But The Biden is not merciful. Now, The Biden is all powerful.

Oh Cassiebear, thou art a goddess of humour and wit.

Well the sentence is, essentially, a manslaughter charge and not a murder charge. Not the charge I would agree with, but that's what it is. Community service for manslaughter is possible and probably preferable depending on the circumstances, but I wouldn't use community service for this, were I a judge.

Kinja runs like shit on my phone, and so autocorrect lags way behind, if it works at all.

I WANT IT IN MY FACE-HOLE.

I am sorry that it has come to this, but as a woman, this is your right. Come, men, let us lower our penises, there will be no oral enjoyment for us.

Honestly, I hope they all discover that they love sucking dicks themselves and come to an epiphany about how wrong they were. And then apologize to her.

That is the perfect gif.

The thing about the McD's fries is that they are so thin and covered in salt that they dry up within a few hours. It's not a surprise they don't decay.

People say that kale is food, but in my experience it is the plant equivalent of eating boot leather.

If it is her, I am glad that she has been found, though saddened at her death. As an atheist I cannot pray for her to have a wonderful afterlife, but may she fertilize the most beautiful flowers.

Tasted just like regular potatoes but looked like we were eating play-doh

You show up at my apartment door and I shall gladly do so. Just say you're there for Engagement Chicken: The Full Course.

When I see that name, all I can think of is Nazi Ghostbusters crossing the proton streams for evil. Maybe to resurrect Hitler, like the Gozer of our time.

It has happened in Canada and Wal-mart shut the store down.

I am going to try this on a first or second date and see what happens.

Though a bit premature, I would certainly be willing to cook said pancakes for you, at the very least.

Oh my. I shall have to taste your chili to be thusly entranced, but willing I will go to this culinary snare!

Truly, that chicken sounds magnificent.