Great. Now I have the vision of Ted Cruz slurping soup in my head and will never eat anything ever again.

Like voters are just a bunch of Quiverfulls. ::shudder::

I think you have to have someone fancy follow you. :-/

But without the charisma or captivating voice.

They’re equally scary, just in different ways.

Clean white-people hair does not hold braids well (especially if it’s fine and straight). You either need to not wash your hair for a few days or put product in it that makes it kinda dirty (like a salt spray or whatever).

LOL no. No one (not just Jez/Gawker) wants to pay for copy editors in journalism, even though readers prefer it.

I hear ya. And I want both! All of the options!

Crap, if you’re in the grays here, there’s no hope for me.

THANK YOU. I am SO FUCKING LIVID about this that I can’t even find an adequate animated gif to express myself. Which is really saying something.

“Millan is the host of the Dog Whisperer With Cesar Millan and a hero to dog owners who’ve used his training tips to raise their own pups since 2004.”

And that he’s actually younger than her!

His face looks like an alien’s idea of what a handsome human should look like. The potential for good looks was there at one point, but then they just went off the rails.

“He’s the only person I spoke to who smokes joints, and he smokes on the back porch, where his two kids won’t see him.”

Which is why the dildos sent to him should only be the really cheap jelly rubber ones that offgas carcinogenic phthalates.

As someone who grew up in rural Minnesota, I was actually very excited because this was the first movie or show I ever saw that actually got the accents right! Minnesotan accents are apparently difficult to really do well, but yeah: my family sounds just like Marge and Jerry and those girls in the bar.

THIS. Certainly Whitney Houston’s cover in the 90s (from The Bodyguard soundtrack, lest we forget) was beautiful and she made it her own, but yeah, credit where credit is due, especially since Dolly Parton actually wrote the song.

Sorta similarly: I’m adopted and I randomly discovered a very-removed cousin through a mutual friend on Facebook! It helped that I knew the last name of my birth mother and that it’s not a super common name in the US.

Or, in my case, they find you on the internet, email back and forth with you for a few weeks and then just ghost on out, leaving you to wonder if it’s because you told her you’re queer or...

Yeah, I’m adopted, too, and came here to say pretty much this exact thing.