Clearly an unfortunate mistake, but I do think we need to talk about how sometimes, and obviously I'm against violence against spiders in any fashion, and quite frankly I would most definitely be right there to correct this individual. But too often, heretofore, we don't look at the possible provocation on the part of…

Oh sure. And when you shop Tom Hardy into your vacation pics and put them on your desk at work, people call you "crazy".

You mean to say that a Christian corporation doesn't actually give a fuck about the children they so loudly and repeatedly claim to care about, but instead they're just a bunch of self-serving, greedy capitalists!? I'm shocked.

Romeo! Light of my life, fire of my loins! I have just ceremonially destroyed my glasses. AT THIS VERY MOMENT I am crash-dieting, laser-removing my tattoo, and quitting smoking in order to prove myself worthy of your warm and loving embrace.

sorry Vanessa. People are truly evil out there

I'm sorry

Just saw yesterday that Joe Manganiello and Sofia Vergara are doin' IT.

Or the bear assassin she hired and now must get rid of.

• "Shemar Moore straight up flexed for the paparazzi at the beach. This is news."

Because you're always on our lawns! With your smarty phones and your eye pads and your fancy coffee drinks we can't pronounce. Damn whippersnappers. My walker doesn't have blue tooth!

You know why I've been on the pill since high school? To keep my dysmenorrhea in check so I can get out of fucking bed when I'm on the rag.

Her media nickname should be "Tan Nan"

What?! Irrelevant?

LOVE this. It's like having Santa Claus wink at you, but way better.

Is it polite/encouraged to ask people what their tattoos mean? I am curious about what "stories..." means to her.

That's not as true as you'd think. Some people do that, others freeze or collapse, especially if they believe the child is dead. I saw one woman literally not be able to understand that we'd found her husband and their young child (and these were missing hikers, so no chance she was involved) for like 5 minutes, and…

What is it about Hershey Kisses?

I would watch a whole TV show of this family.

I almost applauded at the "that's ok, you don't have to love mommy, but you do have to be obedient". Perfect. She has to do what she's told because she is 3, but being 3 doesn't mean you shouldn't get to have your own damn feelings about it

Yeah. It's just tough in the moment to be persistent—like, we've got a food-thrower. I can only tell you to stop 40 times before I lose my shit, you know?