This is amazing and going on my youtube favorites list. I’m literally watching it without sound at work and humming the Jaws theme in my head while trying not to laugh.

Shark Week starts July 23rd. I know this because my mother looks forward to shark week every year (she’s kind of odd).

If anyone needs me I will just be watching this all day.

Mary Lee is the weirdest name for a shark. Mary Lee is the name of your mom’s friend who always has tissues and candy in her purse and calls you “sweetie,” not the name of a carnivorous animal. I wonder if Chris Fischer’s mom appreciates him naming a shark after her.

Kilmeade and Doocy are idiots and Ainsley Earhardt is one of Fox’s rotating cast of personality-less robot blonds.

The conspiracy theories people are willing to come up with around certain celebrities is baffling. I too like to waste my time and get away from the real world by reading celebrity news, but there is other stuff going on in the world and some people are spending way too much time crafting these elaborate stories.…

Both those videos are adorable, but that second one just melted my cold, cold heart.

Chris Hayes- used to do serious news, now a Kim Kardashian cocaine conspiracy theorist. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

She also seems like a good mom, certainly not the type to leave lines of coke on a table where a kid could run in and eat it.

I feel like “feces infected scalpel” is way more specific than a hospital is going to get with a person after a case of medical malpractice/infection you get at a hospital.

Oh God, let’s just not do this as a society. Look where voting in random famous people with no political experience has gotten us.

Are there actually people out there who dislike Jennifer Garner. She seems so... inoffensive. And like she handled the whole divorce really well and still gets along with Ben Affleck.

This hair color and the purpley-gray color everyone is doing look like the results of when your Manic Panic hair dye starts to wash/grow out and looks all faded. I’m not a fan- if you want to dye your hair pink or purple just go all out and dye it pink or purple.

Couldn’t agree more. The first time I got sober I was in the hospital for liver damage and was thankfully given a lot of medicine, vitamins, and fluids so I wouldn’t die. The second time (a few months later, it’s stuck now for 4 years) was on my own at first and I thought I was going to die from the withdrawals.…

Oh God, same. I fear that part of it is that at 29 I look at guys in cargo shorts and am like, okay, this person clearly has their shit together and has a job and is therefore attractive.

I can’t even afford their see-through pants, much less a $50 pillow and a barre that won’t fit in my one-bedroom apartment.

I don’t like to hug humans, but I do like to hug dogs. Also, I would have hugged Kesha if she asked, I usually hug people when they ask for one.

I hate hugging, no idea why, not from a family of huggers, but I would totally hug Kesha- she seems delightful.

Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian need to stay broken up and work on parenting their damn kid. I also really hope Rob gets in some sort of legal trouble for posting those revenge porn pics because that was super fucked up of him.

I temped for about 6 months (in summer) in an office at a university that had a no sleeveless tops rule. I personally don’t really wear sleeveless tops unless I have a cardigan over it because sleeveless isn’t really my thing, but it was hot as hell that summer and the air conditioning was terrible at that school.…