I'm sure your intent was pure. However, your delivery was full of fail and AIDs.

We are so insignificant.

You used parenthesis incorrectly. Your sentence reads, "You forgot to end your sentence with a, my friend."

You're a god damn retard then

Pretending to be an audiophile? Yuck.

:( boo

Right meow!

It is a cupcake!

Suit pockets are generally larger than "baggy khakis"

Haha, cute!

Google, hear my cry, I will watch 1 hour of uninterrupted ads a day and take a comprehensive quiz to have speeds like this.

Ah! The jiggling balloons are wonderful!

Way to ignore the shit talking!

Gah, top headphone jacks are stupid.

It is the word of the year and gawker still can't render them properly

Haha!

*Whoosh*

Damn, 1.6% off the laser pointer?! What a deal!

Couldn't even bother reading the first sentence, eh?

When I read the headline I thought it meant have Taylor Swift ride around with you everywhere you go. At first I thought, "Nah, that might get pretty annoying." Then I thought, "If I am rich enough to have a Maserati, does that mean I am rich enough to get a roadie from Taylor Swift?" So yes. I will take that chance.