because there's only one type of valentine that's okay to hand to your special chum ...

. . . there's only one type of valentine that's okay to hand to your special chum this year . . .

Hey, when I party with my hot male coworkers, it goes like this, in this exact sequence:

Also reminded of this:

Team animal. This includes humans, over which of course we benevolent overlords.

I like getting soap as a gift. Not diseased soap, though.

Shameless promoting using ridiculous, hackneyed and offensive methods.

Raises hand...I do and I love it! I'll watch them all day long. But I will admit, I called all the major plot points on last night's episode!

The smartness thing probably worked against her in that business... Sad reality of entertainment, I suspect.

*Brando voice* Whaddaya got?

Aging and not being the center of attention.

aging.

I definitely don't get it.

What is Madonna rebelling against?

I always had a thing for Geena Davis. Super smart, pro-level archer, gorgeous, great actress. She shoulda been bigger.

I get it, E.L. James' writing is so expressive and realistic that perhaps Christian Grey truly did come alive for you in your imagination.

Editor's note: We used the male pronoun in this piece because there has been no official confirmation from Jenner about a transition, nor has Jenner made clear any preference regarding pronouns. Please feel free to email me at marchman@deadspin.com if you have any questions or concerns.

Not very relevant to the article, but that is a bad ass Wheaties box cover. 10/10, would idolize while munching.

I like any comment that references Xhamster.